|| .burnynng on just lyke a matchh you stryyke to incynerate ||

i miss my bunkmates on tekong :(

i called my bunkmates for the first time since i left about two weeks ago.

they were hurling 'niceties' and 'pleasantries' at me.

i was definitely too 'honoured' to have received their 'compliments'.

leaving the funnies aside, it was quite a thrilling experience for me at home and for them on their little island. everyone seemed enraged, according to jason, who did not miss a bit of me. but they were more probably excited that i FINALLY bothered to call them. yup. i did ask them to ask me along if they had an outing. they are going to :)

field camp starts this saturday for them i hope they do well. im worried about eugene, who got a recurring shoulder injury. it does sound serious, but he's not got much choice but to suffer it' be through with it while at training. bronco company became very harsh, treating my platoon mates like shit. far from the welfare. far from the neverlasting impressions. while me, i meditate about why i get to slack. nowadays i feel a sharp tinge of guilt thinking about my bunkmates. but i knew i'd get out of course. its like how u enter first three months and like it, but leave in the end because u knew u were supposed to belong somewhere else. that's the feeling.

i remember everyone treating me like godlike when i did just 5 pullups. i remember laughing at the 95% of ppl who came in at 14 min for 2.4km run. i remember laughing at how weak everyone was. but perhaps, this whole month has toughened them up. more so than me. if i really get downgraded to pes e, i'll be at the bottom of the caste already. useless, as i always say of the pes e. i'll be extremely useless.

right now, im content with the office. though many see me as scheming, intelligent and political, i do believe i'm enjoying the company of everyone who takes care of me very well. i'm so glad. there are people whom i can speak proper english to. there is an aj senior, a cat high senior. both of them i can feel for. and they do so for me. a bunch of jolly bunch. as i told them today, why should i scheme against someone who treats me nice? most of the people here i will never scheme against, because most of them are nice, except for SOME. and we nodded our heads in agreement and gave wry smiles. silent acknowledgements, very possibly of a common nemesis. well, in fact u can even think of them enlisting me on their side even at such an early stage of my career here. despite the unflattering comments i occasionally hear, i do believe my boss is a reasonable lady. and my chief clerk, he does like harassing us, even me.

a financial conclusion i reached:
when i'm spending my dad's hard-earned money, i utilise it frugally.
when i'm spending my own money, i waste it like water.

and my mum stopped giving me allowances cos im drawing a salary! and u know what that means!!!

now, my enemy number 1 is the group of WHORES,read it dublew-age-ou-arr-e-ass who stop you next to the mrt station gates and demand to know if you're an nsf. and why? because they want your money, no matter how little it is. dummkopf me was stopped the first time, almost stopped the second, and the third? i totally ignored it when that bitch dirtied my epaulettes by touching me and demanding my attention. i just walked through her. that fucking dirty whore. i'm spending my money, before any of you gets to it! fwah-ha-ha! i just wanna scold some obscure obscenities right now but i can't think of any cos its just a waste of my brain cells. i do better saving them up for philosophical and sociological debates in the office. yes, and to indirectly make people feel inferior. i've got to change. its hurting people, and its hurting me eventually because i hate to hurt anyone except the posse of conwomen out there masquerading as financial advisors. i ain't need neone to teach me howta use my money. i'll just dump a few on the floor and i know you will pick them up just like you've been doing your whole sad life.

yes and im getting more irritable and uptight than ever. i'll be asking for a psychologist or counsellor soon, as long as it gets me a few offpasses a month. hah. i've lots of issues within me to settle. a score to settle with myself. i'm too busy fighting myself i dun think i'll be bothered fighting anyone else. i'm just going crazy. but there's no way out because you just end up in a tighter spot every turn you take. so just grit and go on.

"plak!";
x 10:41 pm

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