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crappy post

the rain was so heavy i couldn't execute my planned plan. so i was stuck in the outside mph area playing by myself..soon after three non-badminton badminton players came. sort of shared the area i had.. i didn't want to take any chances..so i shifted away a bit..lesser space left to train..then i thought i wanted to go to the band room to train..maybe it was better...i then dribbled there. stayed there for half an hour. then the only girl playing badminton stood at the mph there saying 'we're done now..thank you for the space' haha she sounded apologetic as much as she was thankful. maybe it was cos of my face. that would have cursed a million words no matter when. i'm sorry but that's my face. the kiam pah, chao bin. can't change it. haha..i didn't mind though. just about the same, maybe better that i went to band room. cos i sort of played squash with myself there. and 7 in 10 hits were at the 'optimal position' on the stick, and i heard that 'sound of satisfaction' much of the time. its still hard to adjust to all the hockey life. i came from choir, and my fitness is bad and i dun have common sports sense. how stupid can a guy go fro training and not have any meal before that. for a sportsman that's like duh. but i didn't know, and got the whole team scolded, dumb as it sounds..most of the teammates are understanding though, they make sure no blame is imposed on anyone no matter what. and then my past of antisocialism. never expected it to happen even now. team tactics. HUH? what? i simply dun get them at all. lack of confidence. hmm. i'm always at extreme ends i admit. somehow, maybe its that i've depression. i mean i suspect i have, but i don't know. 1 in 10 singaporeans have it. quite common, so i may be affected, chances even heightened with such a family=my mum. i get scolded for all the unreasonable reasons all the time, and i feel so stressed up. but she can forget she scolded me the next moment, and obviously has no inkling how much it affects me. lucky thing is, she's a jovial person about 80 percent of the time. to me and my sis at least. now my mum's down, with rashes all over her body. my dad is ill too, seems like fatigue-related. my sis has gone to obs. she'll be back on friday, along with my other classmates who went too. i see my sis as probably the closest person to me, followed by you. so important to me. despite all the stress from my mum, i still am a filial son. i do most of the grocery, but none of the household chores :P

its gonna be j2 next year. i was stunned when lim kim thye greeted us good morning j2s. i was still in that immature j1 mindset. i didn't study at all, and that's cos i was rebellious. against who, or what? i don't know, but the answer is probably myself. i can't afford to treat myself any worse next year. i've got to prove my worth.

I SHALL BE A MUGGERRRR!

hahaha..i read this super intellectual book i borrowed from the library yesterday.okay forget it..i shall spell out the essence of what i read..cos its gonna offend more ppl actually...
atheism is not anti-christian, nor against any religion. u see, without the presence of religion(s) around the world, atheism would stilll be around. there would still be those who do not believe in god. however, there probably would be no names to call atheism. it simply exists. hence, atheism is not parasitic on religion.

okay whatever but i'm an atheist. though i'm catholic. i didn't have a choice right. its a very nice book to read. it is bound to open up ur perspectives towards life in general. atheism- a very short introduction. though its kind of long. full of word play too..not recommended for ppl whose head got hit by volleyballs many times..the damage incurred in attempting to understand the text will be far more than that of the damage incurred while getting hit by the volleyball. sigh i'm so lame..i'm tired..

argh... hate myself to the core... Herrick Ong sucks... no matter how much pain i inflict on myself, i'll juz be e same old me...

"plak!";
x 7:50 pm

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