"plak!";
x 1:26 am
funny hehehe
Having you in my heart makes me fly high... says:hey hey hey
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:hi
Having you in my heart makes me fly high... says:tml going obs liao hor
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:ya loh
Having you in my heart makes me fly high... says:be carefl har
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:i willl de lah
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:hai yoHaving you in my heart makes me fly high... says: careful
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:like my ma de like that
Having you in my heart makes me fly high... says:den cannot sms u liao
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:then u can sms my brother lo
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:he quite handsome one lehs
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:dun have me u can have him
Having you in my heart makes me fly high... says:nt funny
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:i'm nt luffin
Having you in my heart makes me fly high... says: hope u gt residential so u no nid so tiring le
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:none of ur business lo.
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:i go jungle also not ur concern right
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:i will still come out as usual de
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:maybe got a few red blotches here and there
Having you in my heart makes me fly high... says: ya nt my concern
Having you in my heart makes me fly high... says:juz care for u
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:glad u know
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:i got other ppl to care for me
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:like my family
Having you in my heart makes me fly high... says: orh
ll _ StephiE ` ???????? ??????? says:orh pi sai la orh
Having you in my heart makes me fly high...: -_-'
ll _ StephiE ` 我只取一瓢爱了解 只恋你化身的蝶: sis come back le
ll _ StephiE ` 我只取一瓢爱了解 只恋你化身的蝶: good nite worxxxx
ll _ StephiE ` 我只取一瓢爱了解 只恋你化身的蝶: take cares
ll _ StephiE ` 我只取一瓢爱了解 只恋你化身的蝶: mwacks love ya
Having you in my heart makes me fly high...: muahaha
ll _ StephiE ` 我只取一瓢爱了解 只恋你化身的蝶: real steph here ..
ll _ StephiE ` 我只取一瓢爱了解 只恋你化身的蝶: dun mind him . lol
Having you in my heart makes me fly high...: haha...
Having you in my heart makes me fly high...: :x did i sae sumthing too mushy :x
ll _ StephiE ` 我只取一瓢爱了解 只恋你化身的蝶: dunnoe
Having you in my heart makes me fly high...: ok donhaf...
* Having you in my heart makes me fly high... is now Away
ll _ StephiE ` 我只取一瓢爱了解 只恋你化身的蝶: ..
omg this is really funny, serious!stephie is supposed to be my sis, and the 'having you' guy is some despo from sp who is really disgusting and likes my sister. like come on la, even i'm more qualified to by her boyfriend la! yucks. gross guys like him gross me out-completely! k just in case u dun get it, i was my sis. and the guy didn't notice, though it was a totally different attitude i used compared to my sis' . i imitated her typing style quite flawlessly too. nevertheless this dumbass didn't suspect anything!!! LOLLLL okay i admit it happened on sunday but its so funnyyyy!!!! (k i'm just mean)
i mean, my sis gets lots of disgusting guys liking her(and i dun see why :P) and i am so protective of her. at times when things get out of hand, i even threaten to really use crude language when i call them up. but she doesn't want it to happen, cos she's such a kind girl(maybe i see why now). so she allowed me( as in did not stop me from) doing this.. heh the guy will be sure to ask whether she's her or me whenever he initiates a convo in the future=tmr when my sis comes back from obs.
k he's just plain dumb. when my sis really came back, first thing he asked was ' did i say something too mushy?' my sis likes to be indirect and not hurt ppl or whatever, so she says dunno. then the guys says okay that must be a no, phew.
he then changes status to away immediately, cos of obvious reasons.
this is what i call l337 pwn4g3! omfg teh suxxors! well i'm mean, but if i'm not mean i wouldn't be myself :P
anyway, we did sl today. as usual i dun have much idea of what is going on exactly though i'm the 'high-and-mighty' sl i/c. i think mrs toh chose the wrong guy. haha.. and i did NOT volunteer for it, she chose me..erm but today was okay methinks. mrs toh gave me quite some intructions already, so that should kill off some ambiguity. yea she said it will be no kick, cos well who we've got? mrs toh leh! hahaha mrs toh rocks la she's so cool and hip and bhb, at times its really funny. of course its deliberate la. and she finally pang sehed her two year old dotter's birthday party for our class outing~! ok maybe postponed or what, but best if she forgot about it altogether! hahaha. felt so long since we last saw each other, it was great to be back again. the few of us. i can't wait for school to resume again! though the homework is still untouched, but heck who cares! every school holiday, i plan to finish all the work within the first week, but what happens? it always happens. the last day of the holiday would be the time i finish it! but i love it. many times, i've worked best under pressure, though its really created by me alone. what a paragraph load of rubbish!
heh i was supposed to go sp to support caryn today, but she didn't turn up leh...was it cos of me that's why u really didn't go? sorry if its cos u didn't want me to cheer for u ar..but we still saw shu min la..not bad already! i took a few better glances at hong zhi's one and only, and another classmate who's in the same primary school as me..but so did they take better glances of me too erpx. lol hong zhi will be 'slaughtered' tomorrow the same way i was mr seng 'slaughtered' me, but by her 8 classmates or so. haha...that's enough to spark a whole day of commotion for her :P
we couldn't sleep at the library, it was so noisy! but still saw some logs lying there with flows of saliva coming down. haha okay that is exaggerated. went down to the library first floor, where all the trashy, trendy, crappy, irrelevant, and also some useful magazines resided. we played checkers..and unfortunately i won my wife cos of the iq difference la. its not ur fault, really. hahahaha smart aleck ar, went to take some iq book. though i could not solve a level 2 question, but i could solve a level 1 question, unlike some self-proclaimed genius, who could not even answer that. sad isn't it. haha i'm more obsessed about ur fbt 'underwear' now, u stupid girl who washes her legs in swimming pools while wearing underwear :P
(if u want access to my blog, try asking me again, maybe i'll feel kind) hahaha
if only everyday could be like this
"plak!";
x 10:47 pm
hong zhi ar
somebody had itchy fingers and started bolding parts of my previous post and added one last paragraph too to make me look like an overcrazed sadomasochist. careful ar hong zhi ..i almost lost my blog too! i just realised i spent 3 hours talking on the phone! haha..where's ur sexayy fbt shorts? i wanna seeee :P
dirty dirty dirty
"plak!";
x 11:44 pm
crappy post
the rain was so heavy i couldn't execute my planned plan. so i was stuck in the outside mph area playing by myself..soon after three non-badminton badminton players came. sort of shared the area i had.. i didn't want to take any chances..so i shifted away a bit..lesser space left to train..then i thought i wanted to go to the band room to train..maybe it was better...i then dribbled there. stayed there for half an hour. then the only girl playing badminton stood at the mph there saying 'we're done now..thank you for the space' haha she sounded apologetic as much as she was thankful. maybe it was cos of my face. that would have cursed a million words no matter when. i'm sorry but that's my face. the kiam pah, chao bin. can't change it. haha..i didn't mind though. just about the same, maybe better that i went to band room. cos i sort of played squash with myself there. and 7 in 10 hits were at the 'optimal position' on the stick, and i heard that 'sound of satisfaction' much of the time. its still hard to adjust to all the hockey life. i came from choir, and my fitness is bad and i dun have common sports sense. how stupid can a guy go fro training and not have any meal before that. for a sportsman that's like duh. but i didn't know, and got the whole team scolded, dumb as it sounds..most of the teammates are understanding though, they make sure no blame is imposed on anyone no matter what. and then my past of antisocialism. never expected it to happen even now. team tactics. HUH? what? i simply dun get them at all. lack of confidence. hmm. i'm always at extreme ends i admit. somehow, maybe its that i've depression. i mean i suspect i have, but i don't know. 1 in 10 singaporeans have it. quite common, so i may be affected, chances even heightened with such a family=my mum. i get scolded for all the unreasonable reasons all the time, and i feel so stressed up. but she can forget she scolded me the next moment, and obviously has no inkling how much it affects me. lucky thing is, she's a jovial person about 80 percent of the time. to me and my sis at least. now my mum's down, with rashes all over her body. my dad is ill too, seems like fatigue-related. my sis has gone to obs. she'll be back on friday, along with my other classmates who went too. i see my sis as probably the closest person to me, followed by you. so important to me. despite all the stress from my mum, i still am a filial son. i do most of the grocery, but none of the household chores :P
its gonna be j2 next year. i was stunned when lim kim thye greeted us good morning j2s. i was still in that immature j1 mindset. i didn't study at all, and that's cos i was rebellious. against who, or what? i don't know, but the answer is probably myself. i can't afford to treat myself any worse next year. i've got to prove my worth.
I SHALL BE A MUGGERRRR!
hahaha..i read this super intellectual book i borrowed from the library yesterday.okay forget it..i shall spell out the essence of what i read..cos its gonna offend more ppl actually...
atheism is not anti-christian, nor against any religion. u see, without the presence of religion(s) around the world, atheism would stilll be around. there would still be those who do not believe in god. however, there probably would be no names to call atheism. it simply exists. hence, atheism is not parasitic on religion.
okay whatever but i'm an atheist. though i'm catholic. i didn't have a choice right. its a very nice book to read. it is bound to open up ur perspectives towards life in general. atheism- a very short introduction. though its kind of long. full of word play too..not recommended for ppl whose head got hit by volleyballs many times..the damage incurred in attempting to understand the text will be far more than that of the damage incurred while getting hit by the volleyball. sigh i'm so lame..i'm tired..
argh... hate myself to the core... Herrick Ong sucks... no matter how much pain i inflict on myself, i'll juz be e same old me...
"plak!";
x 7:50 pm
train
i'm going to school to train on my own tomorrow.
"plak!";
x 8:51 pm
12 nov-ricsson's birthday party
oh ya forgot to mention last saturday was my cute cousin's birthday. ricsson toh! lol
let the pictures do the talking, now that i know how to upload them properly.
ri ki san is shooooo keu-tez-neh!
"plak!";
x 9:57 pm
veneti outing
haha this is so long ago already. cdp was okay. few of us guys got paired up with few of the 34 girls..while the rest of our class was happily together..jian qi definitely didn't do his job at all....slacker! lol and are we gonna have that post-cdp bonding since the pre-cdp bonding never took place? ahha.. isn't it weird if u see each other for the whole year but u dun talk to one another at all? i find it weird..and i got to know our leader who is norma. should be a nice girl right, hehehhs
oh anyway yesterday was our og outing! erm...xavier melvin jesper darren jun han shu min sandy hong zhi janice..9 ppl came! yea our og is one of those that is still more or less intact..well not all, but at least a few of us still maintain our friendships, and we never forget that we only had each other in the first week we were here. we were all we had. yes sandy finally found out that i did NOT like two girls simultaneously since the start of the year..lol stupid..only yesterday did she know of this fact..how long have i been wronged..oh gosh. i promised hong zhi that we would do stuff other than playing pool...so sorry ar...we still ended up playing pool the whole day.but thing is while playing pool we saw jj and jun yang!! lol waye ning is sooooo jealous..... i saw jun jie wor!!! and we very thickskinned(okay la is jesper,'jun yang da-ge, wo men ke yi he ni men pai zhao ma?) ask them if they could take photos with us.. so nice of them...they're so humble..but they spoke english..which makes me very confused..okay anyway the feeling with ur og mates is so great. every one is in different class, SOME ppl pang seh for different school somemore. yet we're still together! veneti rocks! to think that i deliberately spelt it and pronounced it as VANITY! poor jun han...i totally screwed up the name of our og. jun han is going army on january 6th..so unfair....never give more time to enjoy himself or work or something. so fast go army liao. but early enlist then early leave ns..got pros and cons la..i think this is a crappy post. let me put a picture in..and waye ning dun scream! hahaha...
"plak!";
x 8:06 pm
12 nov sentosa trip
we went to sentosa on saturday! after like so many many months of not visiting that sunny island(read: hot and so so baking), finally went there thanks to an initiative by caryn liang ma and i. but liang pei didn't come..anyone who didn't come also missed a lot of fun..i mean among the guys anything we did was fun! paid 5 bucks for this green paper band. heh not green plastic poseur bands luckily. i'd hate that. with that came a bottle of mineral water, free rental of a volleyball, and 30 min kayak. well i saw one whole shelf of suntan lotions, sunblock lotions, calamine lotions, antifungal lotions, warts lotions, mana potions WHAT THE? oops sorry. but it was a lot of bottles of cooling liquids that either made u darker or prevented u from becoming darker. never mind that.. wee liang and i took a kayak together, jian qi chee wei took another together. the superstar took a solo kayak. though he was the most experienced( doubt the rest of us had any experience), but something happened to him..well deserved! we'll come to that later..wee liang and i were like idiots. only knew how to go front. left or right? LOL. shout justin's name but his help wasn't of much use to me. thankfully i took the back. that was the thing to do. cos i was heavier, and i could provide a much needed push to either the left or the right. the feeling of the water pressing against the oar is simply so gratifying..within 15 min i guess we both learnt how to kayak..my sis wants to go take a kayaking proficiency course..has 5 levels..i wanna go take too! the only thing is..i can't swim. HAHA..but with a lifevest shouldn't be a prob..though i still can't swim..probably cos i'm too lazy to want to..then we had some sort of race. being the more competitive and sporty ppl there, wee liang and i just zoomed and disappeared..jian qi and chee wei were still so far behind; having given up after a while probably..while justin was probably kayaking around looking for girls to bang. i mean looking for kayaks to bang..which was waht wee liang and i did all the time....we harassed poor chee wei and jian qi continuously, and when we were next to each other? PADDLE FIGHT! it was just that close to a star wars moment! :P haha it was in a way some sort of 1400s naval warfare between 2 battleships..boarding parties! ahahha..i wonder why but chee wei and jian qi got cuts from their canoe/oars while neither wee liang nor i had any..its veyr unlikely, but cos it happened...so be careful! when we go there again for the official class outing on dec 3rd! ahaha so excited!!!! we're finally gonna have a real class outing! anyway justin capsized. **applauses fervently** hahahhaha the stupid idiot who claimed to have so much experience and was so 'pro' to go solo...but that wun stop him from taking his own kayak in future though..the rest of us were all dry..relative to justin. except that our pants were so very wet. and i forgot to bring extra clothes to change despite reminding ppl to bring clothes to change the previous night! so smart. when we got up, we still had to push the kayak back ourselves. wasn't the mat there supposed to be doing it? he gets a salary u know! even for 2 guys like us, it was kind of woah. not really easy. but good old thoroughly wet justin still came to help us. just like a true blue catholic high gentleman. (pukes) i tell ya 30 min is definitely not enough. next time i go there imma gonna ask the 2 cool tanned dudes manning that 5 bucks booth if i can extend the tenure for any price! i just dun want to hear a 'sure, 5 bucks more will do it.' i'll slap the man then. hahahaha!! anyway the day was quite unorganised..so we just procured whatever fun we could out of whatever things we could find. like admiring the fish that the old kelong ah pek caught for us. there were pipefish, one sotong, one jellyfish, one or two sea horses, lots of mini worthless fish. enough to cause some excitement amongst the ppl there who have never seen such marine life apparently. some caucasians came by .. "oi thart's soi koit! whatcha gonna do with them eh?" i didn't think any one of us would reply to those sua gus..but justin did. " heh we're gonna grerr dem" hahahha along with other substandard engrish pronounzyations. okie la herrick stop being bad! i admit, it was kind of a boring day that day, but enough to roast me and convert me into a guan gong. already i'm so dark, probably the chao ta-est in class but still the sun still wants to pick on me. grrr- grumble- grrrr. so i looked so red and all that. but the GOOD thing was that everyone else also got it. even renny who was so kind to look after our belongings most of the time and who sat under the shade most of the time also returned home red. even today he's still red. 3 days already but still red. and his nose is the worst. ahahha rudolph! okie fastforward..we went to paradiz after that to play pool. ahahah so many months already..i thought i was gonna miss all the balls and lose the games one after another..but somehow i was very tired, and that gave me a very negative energy to expel. didn't realise but i probably won like 3/4 of the games i played :P lol motivation..i still wanna play...i dun believe i won many games that day....i want a rematch! let's go there again on dec 3rd. let's not stay for musical fountain and other wussy stuff shall we? i wanna play against everyone. one thing though, doubles is a total wastage of time..i don't want to play that..i want to play against shawn, caryn, wee liang, justin, chee wei, jian qi..anyone who can play pool. let's do it! here i am, once again, i'm torn into pieces, can't deny, can't pretend, addicted to pool again! weeeeeee
i'm supposed to be in sydney tonight. watching kelly clarkson's concert :(
"plak!";
x 10:29 pm
laputa vs final fantasy
laputa-castle in the sky. thanks so much caryn! it's so nice wor! i kept making noise that this and that resembled final fantasy here and there..i thought i was wrong..but no..many many scenarios were just like final fantasy la! well final fantasy as in the original ff1, which is the most original to me.
levistone.the stone that keeps sheeta afloat. also in ff, the stone that u need to ascend a high up castle basically. the shapes for both are hauntingly similar. 8 sided diamond with a dark metallic sheen.
airship.the airships in real life are supposed to resemble huge zeppelins. but in both, they have primitive propellers that support them. airships are a mainstay of all ff games too. their appearance is somewhat similar again. it freaks me out.
orphans. the two protagonists, pazu and sheeta are orphans. in ff games, orphans and their terrible past and sob stories whatnot form the background information. somewhat occured in this title too.
artificial intelligence. in laputa, the laputan robots are seen as almost indestructible. the only thing that destroyed the one we saw was about ten volleys of cannon fire. before that, it had virtually burnt down the entire fortress it was imprisoned in. in ff, the 'lost civilisation' also makes use of sophisticated robots. i haven't seen it for myself, but apparently in that floating castle, there'll be this deathmech robot unit that pops out by chance, and it could mean a swift death, regardless of ur level which could be relatively high by then. ya, so this explains the might the contraptions wield.
technology. in laputa, the setting is in 1920s, with its coal mining techniques, maxim-lookalike machine guns, bolt action rifles etc. however, they do possess wondrous products of innovation. there was this armoured train/tank which appeared as an armoured train but functioned as a tank on tracks, not threads. if that doesn't impress you, they had a massive aerial battleship known as the goliath(disappointing name, though). apart from the fact that it traversed the sky and not waves, it was just a battleship, with the airship design, of course. in ff, the technology is somewhat full of fantasy too. there would be some items and concepts that are not unlikely to be built and materialised in that time period, yet they still exist. for example, a spell in ff is called 'nuke', and it's a nuke, though ff1 is set in a.d.1500 typical rpg settings. in laputa, the castle itself also fires a nuke onto earth. scary.
so i got interested and typed in "laputa final fantasy". ahha, and i got some reviews. here is the only specific extract.
"but you will find pirates, airships, crystals, and most of the things you would expect from an old SNES Final Fantasy game. I highly suggest it to anyone , but mostly fans of classic console RPGs and Studio Ghibli fans. "
i haven't played the ff series at all, except the recent remake, ff1 and 2 for gba. hehe. but it's so fun to dig out similarities between games and movies and stories etc. another interesting one would be dune vs star wars-who copied from who? most ppl have not heard of dune before, so a balanced debate is well..let's forget it. star wars will prevail based on numbers and its influence on popular culture. dune was well, for the older american generation. if only i could get my hands on them, old as they may be..though it'll seem as though i'm watching star trek..see..the links never stop breaking... ...
"plak!";
x 12:26 am
in search of the past
true
You might think
I don't look
But deep inside in the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you
I'm weak
It's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster
patience
Shed a tear
'cause i'm missin' you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl i think about you ev'ry day now
Was a time when i wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
I sit here on the stairs'
cause i'd rather be alone
If i can't have you right now i'll wait, dear
Sometimes i get so tense
But i can't speed up the time
these extracts from the songs..arghhh..a most fitting description what i'm thinking and doing nowadays..i'll be a total jerk if i could just forget u cos u wanted me to. it's tough to do so, and it hurts always.whenever ppl pair me up with a girl or something, i get so offended. it was different in the past, cos it contained a certain element of harmless fun. now, it's different. i'm taking it personally, that people are trying to test my fidelity cos they obviously seem to think i have none. and all the more it is galvanised in me, everytime.
everytime i think about u, and right after that u would somehow message me or something, as if it were a response to my onconeural(i'm in arts, let me be)signals . so many coincidences such as these, i hope they mean nothing. or maybe its cuz i think of you all the time :P
2.35 am now, after the whole night playing final fantasy one. yea ff1. this remake is so fun and simple. colourful and whatnot too. used an original version walkthrough to aid me. surprisingly, most aspects matched.still remember playing the black and white version like 5 years ago. it was horrid, and all i knew was eating the carcasses the vanquished foes left behind just so that u can mutate into their kind. luckily they removed this temptation that would have led to the eternal damnation of my character just cos i'm so curious. playing ff1 seems like playing golden sun now. can't believe a game produced in 1984 or 1987 can be revived and made so entertaining. in terms of new features it has none, naturally since its the mother of all rpgs to me, anyway. it's fun to play those predecessors of modern day computer game genres. i have been exposed to more real time strategy games than other genre types, and i embarked on a seemingly silly hunt for the ancestors of today's rts that my comp can support. what i found was a treasure hoard of more hours of fun. warcraft 2, for example was good enough. it had all the basic features of a rts game, pity that the mouse movement of 1 cm would lead to u landing on the other end of the minimap. apart from that irritating 'feature', i could still accept what was going on. warcraft 2 was fun, but what of warcraft 1? i had it too, but the mouse was just to select units and buildings. u had to use 'a', 'm', etc to navigate around the map in the quest for well...completing the quest. i did not have the patience, and heck that goes into the recycle bin.
i still recall, at the end of sec 3, my classmate tong cheng wei lent me quite some cds to play. one of them that i played most was emperor:quest for dune. it's based on the expanded plot of the novel 'dune' by ..well, you can find that out for urself isn't it u lazy bum :P can't remember ..especially when its so early..oh i think i got it..frank herbert. okay but he's dead now so who cares. its a nicely researched fiction story that emulates many real-life scenarios and character types. in dune, it is somewhat like in c&c(i'll come to that later), three(instead of two) factions vie for control over the planet, dune, also known as arrakis. the only source of the spice melange. 'he who controls the spice controls the universe.' so u roughly get it. what is cool about the game which was released in 2000, was that the graphics were way advanced for its time, and 'border disputes' took place on the same map every time they were fought. sounds crappy but the same map means that u got to keep all the mortar shell holes they were fired the last match. and whatever environmental damage your war machine unleashed. too bad i have only played house ordos, the two othe discs were with his cousins. that alone is fun enough. the three houses have their own variants of each others' units, and they get to enlist allies in the form of the emperor's sardaukar(think elite stormtroopers or simply his private army), the native fremen who live in the sands(they dress like arabs too) and other races in the whole known dune universe. before emperor, there was dune 2000. it can be described as a typical rts set in the old world. gameplay can be exasperating or totally dead, depending on your perspective. at least it was better than c&c. before dune 2000, there was dune 2. it's just another warcraft 1 :) same prob. and there was dune 1. kinda resource extraction game, but i didn't see enemies, it wasn't a rts, and to me it wasn't even a game. it was more of how well u could follow the walkthrough. truth is, in essence, the entire dune series has been strongly influenced by developments in the middle east and the us political scene in the 1970s. u can easily substitute 'fremen' for 'arab nationalists/soldiers/terrorists' depending on how u look at it, 'spice melange' for 'oil', amongst other subtle identities. as for c&c, i haven't finished the game yet. haha. sorry. tell me if u flipped all the way through to the end, at least..haha..such a lousy game review..
"plak!";
x 3:05 am
fivefactor test on tickle
your most unique quality is that you're unusually Inspirational
You inspire others around you with your creative energy and thirst for new experiences. You are exceptionally curious and aren't afraid of learning new things — which is probably because you tend to focus on the potential positive outcome of any experience rather than dwelling on the potential negatives. You are a true explorer in the word. You want to understand and experience it all, and you're especially open to new feelings and ideas. Compared to others who are open, you
are unusually imaginative. Only 1.8% of all test takers have this unique combination of personality strengths.
my mum's been driving me mad and making me very scared of her with her irrational emotional fluctuations. i'm really very freaked out. i thought it was me who was the reason. today i slowly discovered it was that she had something against my dad. again. so then i am just but the victim of all her negative emotions. she never has any positive ones. most probably my mum's going with my to sydney. my dad told me if he went instead, my mum would be jealous. that's how bad it is. narrow-mindedness and being quick to jump to conclusion..she's making everything so confusing when everything in my life is supposed to be simple. i want to lead a carefree life. i don't want her to keep complaining to me what evil things ppl did to her more than fifteen years ago. she's adding such a heavy burden to all of my worries when i already have not much. it's draining me inside out. and i'n breaking down again as my usual reaction. it isn't good for me. if this goes on, i'll be admitted to imh. meanwhile, people are laughing at my plight.
"plak!";
x 7:15 pm