|| .burnynng on just lyke a matchh you stryyke to incynerate ||

i knew whatever was wrong, but i didn't have the solution

being a class rep, i should always have kept neutral. it's when i take sides, that's why i get into trouble. one time, two times, too many times already. it's time i changed myself. stop: shooting off my mouth. and being mean to people intentionally. and i need to THINK BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING at all. my blog has landed me into trouble time and again. i can see why. it's cos i use it to vent. and sometimes thank people. and cos i use it to vent, i just let some small suspicion swell into an absolute fact. it's scary, i fear myself come to think of it. but i don't know why i am seen as 'antagonistic', why i am seen as always looking for avenues to initiate conflicts. i was so hurt when i got to know that. but i guessed that there were classmates thinking that way already. for many views of me, it's not that i'm totally ignorant. just that i know, but i don't know the solutions. it's like u know the questions in a test paper before u take it, but even then, u don't have the answers to em. that was how i felt-helpless. just when i thought i was always escaping from conflicts when i saw them coming my way. stop taking sides herrick. but i had tried my best to get the classmates not to be that angry with hou teng. there are differences between our classmates, we can't deny. class, this can't go on. the virtue of forgiving and forgetting is something very hard to cultivate in us, but it will lead to greater peaceful coexistence! i hope the classmates can be more forgiving, even after all the complaints or what. and mocking on msn using ur nicknames is childish. i was disappointed when even blablablabla also did it. it's just not very nice. there's a certain limit to things. easy to say, not easy to do. i'm guilty of not observing limits too i'm sure. again, i'm having some form of opinion, but this i am sure is not just to bitch about. it's to help the class get along better. i realised something. sometimes i want to help out in some matters. with kind intentions, but somehow it's either that my intentions are unclear or that i mess the thing up..so i get into trouble again...hehe. what an idiot i am. "okay lah sit down lah"-ms ng. i'm just gonna sit down lah. ahahah. thanks to adeline the wollen for telling me all these. so got anything u think i say wrong u come find me lah. i think the classmates think that i will kill u all for telling me anything i done wrong in ur point of view. i feel that whenever there is that little bit of misunderstanding or buay songness, u all should just go talk to the person. though it's not as easy as talking about it with a few other classmates, i'm sure it will go a long way in fostering better relationships. yea so i hope to have classmates come talking to me until my throat dries up k? i wun chop u all and throw u into my carcass bag lah dun worry ^^! and especially since we're embarking on a long journey for our service learning project, where conflicts are likely to crop up. yea if i turn unreasonable i feel u all should tell me straightaway. not just discuss with classmates and all that, cos nothing gets done in the end ya, and i still remain as gila. and i am still the horrigible berdangdang who ought to be shot(3 of xav's expressions in 1 sentence)! 1 thing i need to change is the perception the classmates may have of me. i'm so sorry for my horrible 'never'. but well i've been trying to say it. though it doesn't cover everyone and cover every situation, so it may be a bit unfair i know. there are events which the class has been rather full of initiative too.
mrs toh, "so what can ur class do for cip project?"
me,"oh we can go to the autistic home and visit adeline there!"
ahahaha it's so funny! thanks to adeline so much! i love my wollen friend so much! as in friend. but i love my zhi zhi so much! love as in loveeeeeeee!! and i'm so sorry to bel. it's the first time i confessed that i didn't have a concept of friendship most other people have. i'm just too evil. but now that i know, i'm gonna change.
oh ya that joseph scolded fuck at me multiple times for ignoring his requests to help him do assisted pull up. what a fucking dumbfuck. never been scolded fuck for no good reason. and to be scolded fuck just like that when i don't even know him is just so humiliating. to be scolded fuck by a dumbfuck. so pisses me off. he's gonna watch it. but i'm not going to fight with people who have mental problems. if only i had my hockey stick! i'll strike him in the front! still remember mr seng's nice wallpaper. it had some "bitch-slap that mother %#&^ down and.." that kind of stuff with some japanese monster which i can't name. damn funny. and his 'that woman' referring to the ____-_________ is simply so cool! sigh i pang sehed the hockey pt today. to talk about sl project.hahaha! so i had the same response from the group of boys again. "last time, u pang seh us for macdonald's, now sl? what does sl represent?" and before that, "huh? you're a class leader ah?ahahaha..." 15 guys at least laughing at me cos of that..lol..i immediately returned double digits.."FUCK YOU!"
damn i've got to stop this senseless crazy cursing. i'm getting tired. it's 11.30 almost. and i have not done history essay. to be about 1200 words(in my standards). i have not done newspaper article which was supposed to be handed up every wednesday. and best of all, i have not done my gp essay on poverty. so i'm am the most handsome of all! hou teng is the second most handsome cos he finished it before me. but i have not finished it actually. so i may be infinitely immeasurably dashing. just such a good thing to know i'm the most handsome before i go to sleep. and that my wife is the most beautiful.

"plak!";
x 11:20 pm

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