|| .burnynng on just lyke a matchh you stryyke to incynerate ||

frustrate today, forget tomorrow :) vent it out, let it go, never to come back again

damn it.
19 for gp-AGAIN. damn it.
but i ain't crying. getting used to this sort of UNFAIRNESS.
this whole year.
and i got o for history or something. f for maths. d for econs. b for geog.
fodb.
fuck off dumb bastard.
at least that's better than foff.
the new loser in town.

but good news is that i didn't study. bad news is that my luck has been terrible. well, both are bad. at least i can change the first portion. i want to mug, but i can't. too many distractions. i wanna be alone, where i can then mug all i want. no cats to disturb, no stares to return.

yesterday, floorball. lost again. near the end of the match, i got so depressed that i didn't bother to run after the ball anymore. that's how traumatised i was then. we agreed that we'd sub half matches. ya then he ever so excitable, kept shouting for him to come back in. okay, that means i am lousy right. are you much better. who made the most noise. can't u understand agreements? would u coming in have turned the tide? well, i just am not saying this just to cause some conflict or what. i'm just so disturbed by the lack of maturity. just when i thought u would make a good captain. maybe u would. i don't know. i'll just do my job-quartermaster is not that?think kelvin the senior would have been quite annoyed when i didn't chase after that ball. but i think he was confused. he told us to rush up front, though i was the back. then when i came back to him, he said why go front, stick with me. haha..dumb..but funny come to think of it.

had pe today. arther lim asked us who were the only ones who failed sbj. hou teng and i went out. 2 only lah, so odd. then he said go one side, eat grass. lame me picked up some grass and tried putting them into my mouth. think he got quite shocked. haha. mr seng said we were humourless. of course we were humourless with him telling us crassssss tasteless jokes. but i think he's funny(in some way u can interpret). he came in in his black tightfitting attractive corduroy long sleeved and black pants. then the moment he came in he said why is it so hot? sigh, no wonder he became a history teacher. he can't do simple science. when we told him our class did badly for maths, he was happy. "great, historians can never count." and he said his maths was horrid too. all the more i want to drop it! he looks damn fierce, but i can see he should be quite an interesting fellow..quite funny lah. though his jokes and analogies are really GROSS and CMI. that's why no one laughed perhaps. our class is too truthful. dun even fake some laughter. at least he could see our class was the quieter, if not quietest. that should help account for some stuff. ms prathirana is damn chio, has anyone realised? that's what i think lah. well not in that lian kind of way, but she's very ladylike. so cultured. my heart just melts whenever i see her. she's so sweet! but guess she's too kind already. and while her voice is audible, it is just far off in being able to overcome the boisterity of the class. we're just opposites in history and gp. i can no longer catch up in maths. for integration i mean. erm maybe i was lost since trigonometry. i don't know. at least i can still laugh it off in econs with ms ng lah. so glad to see she's laughing like a mad woman. it's a good thing. cos it's really very funny. then today she laughed until she just ripened into a tomato. first time i saw her so flushed with joy. maybe not joy. it was cos renny drew something wrong i guess, then it was so gone that she started laughing uncontrollably. i also got tekan alongside renny. but wow at least she pronounced my name correctly. bravo! i didn't know a single thing there lah. just looked at the notes for a brief moment before i went up to do. then up there i totally messed up my non-existent concepts and became more of a clown. thanks to liang pei for saving my life while she totally knew nothing too i bet. haha..whatever terms ms ng mentioned, pinky was just laughing with me..totally 'gone' kind of laughter. every econs lesson is as interesting as it is traumatising for those who are clueless. once again i feel so contrite about maths . i'm not doing mr hong any justice. i don't do his work, and i spend nearly all the time in class thinking,of course that is interpreted as daydreaming sorta thing, but wrong anyhow. feel like dropping maths now. the common test was such a discouragement. couldn't scrape a few marks here and there to secure a 50 percentile at least. good thing, many people got horrid results too. well especially for arts. historians can never count. i'm still thinking about that. i've been so over ambitious. trying to prove people wrong all along. nah, but i still have much to learn. i can't possibly do everything. i'm not superman; i'm just a stressed up 17 year old singaporean student whose worries are just on his studies. i've started having problems with people. aj's so small. i have to say hi to people every few steps i make. not talking about my popularity here, but i think it's real superficial. i got nothing much to say actually. sometimes i really can't bother until i pretend not to see my friends. duh who doesn't know you're looking away. but i'm just overdoing it. hmm. good thing that they sometimes call me when they see me. i know everyone has this looking away tendency to some extent. i'm just annoyed at how a small group people in school are so fighting for popularity. shallow. like what good is it being popular. like some friendster profiles have it, dun add me just to make urself popular. ha-ha-ha. as long as u got a pleasant enough personality, popularity won't be an issue. don't understand how some people can make friends just by going up to the person and telling them his name. totally dumb. no one makes new friends this way. justin's getting on my nerves again. this time, he's emphasising on his popularity and ability to manipulate people. sounds horrible, but he does live up to his claims on especially the latter. i'm just going to teach him a lesson that people are not going to be manipulated. he's just a blackhole. he got pissed in school with me for a while cos i didn't give him what he demanded. that's the way it is with me. probably the rare occasion that he didn't get what he demanded. i'm glad that i did that. "nai ge nu hai zi wo yao, wo de bu dao?" that's how jerky he is. not to forget he came from cat high. as i used to say, cat high people are jerks. or to make it seem more politically correct, have a much higher proportion of jerks than when compared to other schools. just cant stand his attitude when he shouted at the college librarian. nothing about him resembles civilisation. oh.maybe the occasional barbarism that we see every now and then.

good thing that my person is that of the title. i'll just forget all these tomorrow. i'll be fine. wun bear grudges. i'm not a girl. okay, sexist you say i am. so to make it seem more politically correct, a higher proportion of girls than boys bear grudges. society is so damn lame. political correctness. duh of course most people know what to say and what not to. i saw a personal website recently, and half a screen was devoted to all the political correctness. like explaining how he would use 'he' instead of he/she to denote an rhetoricak individual..well that kind of thing. and about how the views are his and not any others, about where the information came from,so he canot be faulted on anything, about what other things he mentioned in order to steer clear of trouble from his text. and what more. it was just a game guide posted on some unknown site. that is how dumb the system works. somehow i feel that i'll start to speak lesser and lesser with my classmates, and more with my non-classmates. ironic. anyway, i'll still smile even with all these nonsense.

especially when my wife's birthday is coming up! ahahah!!!

"plak!";
x 10:32 pm

Comments: Post a Comment