|| .burnynng on just lyke a matchh you stryyke to incynerate ||

yay

okie shawn i'm glad we've sorted things out! so u know what's wrong already. and so u should know why the guys always say u are zhong se qing you and all that. then there's this issue of me taking everything as a class issue. the thing between shawn and caryn, i took it between we three-shawn wee liang and i. definitely not the class. and the zhong se qing you thing..i didn't really do that much. just that i took it seriously, and shawn didn't, as we two have agreed. you guys should have known how close we three were. went about together, went for lessons sat together. so that time really broke it. yes i'm being a total jerk and very anal when doing the class stuff. but it's cos i was very desperate at times. when i ask stuff, i don't get full participation. or like, even worse there'll be some distractions. THEN I BECOME THE MONSTER AND EAT EVERYONE UP. whoever stands in the way unfortunately gets screwed by me. so i apologise for that lah! during delta, i learnt a lot. that the thing about 'getting the job done' is NOT for the class leaders. it's for the school leaders,cca leaders, councillors all that.so class leaders are supposed to be the nice sweet sweet cutie that kind u know..occasionally become the punchbag(we know of civics right?ahahaha). yes. before i become ur most hated lousiest class rep , i was like that. but i always took things too seriously. i really craved for perfection. oh what a freak. now i'm trying to change. okay give me that chance can or not? got anything u buay song, tell me la. i wun bash u up. but then i may....nothing nothing it's no use if u just tell everyone else how much i suck though it's true but i don't know right. cos the solution is with me. right? makes sense?k let's go mug. woots.

that was what i put up on the class forum. after a long intensive thrashing out session. finally. no more hidden sentiments, no more hatred. but still, class mentality. sigh. i just need more participation. and like what chee wei said, active participation. we don't have that..never mind. service learning..things will surface then..class will solve it as one. but this problem is also the solution. weird. hmmm.

back to who i am. yesterday i was at ang mo kio library studying with marian..this group of aj girls were behind me..stupid lar..talk so loudly so aa for what. library leh si geen na. then talk about this rj girl whose nose was what flying in the air. so kua zhang. u want to go lunch u go lah. have to tell everyone issit. really retareded la. i'm sure when i went off with marian they all also got things to say. then spread gossip, as teachers sometimes do too. as if they bother me..but thing is that they really have no life lah. sad. we were discussing accents. about how she's losing hers, and about how i've even stopped speaking english. lol. she's losing her american accent cos of the 'peasantry'...hahaha...remember the days when mr edwin heng screamed at us and said " shut up u peasants!" to the amusement of the class instead. then he bo bian also laugh..i recall that time when i got transferred to 4/2. kept silent for half the year, getting insulted by joel sometimes cos i was really an easy target or what. then during june, i opened up. then got respect and all..but they discovered i had this real horrid accent. don't know from where it came from. i thought i didn't have an accent what. but everyone said so. so i have it. but it's cos it's the only way to speak fluently for me that is. okie fine lah i have an accent too bad for u lah har.

k nowadays i dun even speak much english already. crazy. but it's okay. speaking chinese is all the same lah. though it's substandard. always ger expressions wrong. xi pi nen rou become cui pi nen rou. how screwed up my chinese is. oh my and there's that chinese exam next week. like how to study man. luck's gonna be with me..it will be..good thing is that almost all of us will be screwed for the chinese exam! yay!!!

"plak!";
x 9:44 pm

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