|| .burnynng on just lyke a matchh you stryyke to incynerate ||

hockey

went to commonwealth to get all the sticks for the hockey guys and girls with mark and shafiq. met the coach for the first time. name's charles, nice family man. but not sure if he'd be our batch's coach though. then the guys all went delta to have our first official training. and after 2 months of inactivity. it wasn't easy to pick up again, since my basics were shaky already since last time. li heng and desmond didn't turn up. don't know why. malcolm didn't turn up. he chose choir instead of hockey. glad that i saw andrew, thought he quit hockey for council. why is it that council makes it so difficult for a council-elect to quit? after all, the person's just an ELECT. meaning this trial period is for him/her to get used to it or if not, to just quit? and what of democracy? crap.

during the trainings i kept repeating my mistakes. as coach said we could have easily blamed it on some easy excuse, but i knew what was wrong anyway..i didn't have enough sleep. i've not got more than 9 hours of sleep even during the holidays. 7 hours would be what i call fortunate? MARK PLEASE PUT UP WITH ME! thanks so much for guiding me for so long..and i knew that i couldn't run elsewhere to get water, yet i still did. really sorry. it was something that i KNEW that was wrong but which i still did. seems that i lack discipline. i'm all the more disappointed in myself cos i'm the class rep. and i'm not really socialising with the hockey guys much. it's not just in hockey. i've become cold towards new people i meet..more or less..that shell around me is forming again..waye ning can't help me melt it again..though i've got a close bunch of friends now..maybe that's why the shell is there..i'm so tired i can't think straight.

after unloading the stuff in school went to cwp with kian lin and jason to play pool. just so tired. played much worse than i already am. yea and they should be quite entertained by my noob playing..my classmates know better though..ahah..i'm just not me. when i got back home, bathed already, went out after dinner to slam the ball against the wall and back. did that for a while. i'm really serious about hockey . suppose i will set aside some time everyday just for that.

hit it hard with u venting it all out, and it comes back to you just about as fast. and u keep going on and on, the fire furiously raging through your fragile heart. on and on, the way it will be. my nick says it all. i know i'm in for deep shit. but i know i want to survive. that visit to charles' house was really enlightening. reinforced the warning that there aren't softies in hockey. yep so i grit my teeth. i got thrusted by the stick just next to my ankle today, i kept mum. grit man grit. oh my..and that hockey stick's odour. guang wu that rich kid was making noise about it being smelly. until a dumptruck was next to us. joked to him, which one smells nicer, stick or truck? answer was obvious. yep so the stick smells good. the smell sticks to my hand. probably a clingy odour on my hands for the next 2 months at least.

today's 6 on 6 was funny. unbalanced u can say. our team was thrashing the other. should have been more balanced.. yu ting and i were defenders. and where did we stand? a bit further from the midfield line most of the time. and cleavon the keeper could even move to the midfield line..what nonsense..it's like fun, but i know it's not gonna do us any good. we're supposed to improve together till a certain standard isn't it. togetherness. i don't see it in us yet. despite consistent efforts to be really friendly and nice to each other, we are not together. but the situation will change. when it all gets heated up.yep and i'm guilty of that togetherness thing. i'll never forget it. lesson learnt.

and i realised another thing today. charles said we're sportsmen. it had never occured to me before. yes, i'm a sportsman. a hockey player. no more choir, or other crap. but it shames shafiq and i that our 2.4 timing is 12:30 at best. we two know we're in for deep shit. hehe. the others don't know. so much in a day, i wonder if what i'm rambling makes any sense at all.

"plak!";
x 10:00 pm

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