"plak!";
x 12:06 pm
ownage
remember that geography file that was nowhere to be found? just when i thought all was lost even after i seached my lockers, i found it at home. yes. the drawer just below where i'm typing now. these sort of things happen all too much to me. used it already. so i found it yesterday. i call this a prelude.
then the shit came.
triple ownage, shall keep it short and sweet here:
1. strolled to school unaware there was assembly. so i was late, alongside caryn. plain dumb. so were a few of those who were late.
2.got only the mcq paper, so while everyone else was doing essay, i did my mcq. not bad. some comic relief for the guys (and especially the giggling girls who made me feel my joke was worth it) behind me. good thing only the guys knew. none of the girls in class knew. haha. guess i don't need to talk about my results.
3. that horror. maths. found myself tearing out more pieces of paper, only to hand that damn thick stack in with most of the surface untouched. blanks everywhere. good thing most other classmates had the same ending. haha. notice the word 'ending'.
history tmr. lousy excuse that launching icbms helps in understanding history. damn. my luck ran out. i still wanna get a 15/25 for my history. but damn, i ain't gonna work for it. it's all just not worth it. then 3 hours waiting time before listening compre tmr. could study geography i suppose, but my guess is that i'd still be cracking lame gross jokes with the sickos tmr.
at this point of time, where has that motivation dripped to.
"plak!";
x 9:11 pm
it's that time of the year..
today we had out gp paper. not bad, though it was kinda amusing when i looked around. i saw expressionless faces, traumatised faces..any type of face also got. justin was behind me saying wan liao wan liao . lol. then he is really wan liao lor since he said so =P the teacher dunno who. never see before.she started a sentence with..you may nar.....not something something..trying to speak with american accent. silly idiot. hahaha..had some fun imitating her. then got my just desserts when she reprimanded me for talking to shawn " are u two discussing how to write the essay?" YES damn you. so much for sarcasm.
went home played more maple story. very fun game. or maybe not. good way to destress. simple game. no brains needed. perfect for someone like me. then after that went to play rise of nations. though i was playing the game on conquer the world campaign using the lousy persians in tough difficulty, i didn't expect the enemy to launch A nuclear missile at me. fortunately no civilians died, a very rare thing indeed. only lost a senate barracks and auto plant. how i wish there was someone here who could speak my language. but if i ever were to become a leader of a world power(crazy, i'm saying in a hypothetical situation), the world will just be gone in a jiffy. why? cos in the game my favourite weapon is the nuclear missile. oh my god. that effect is damn cool. screen goes whitish yellow and that mushroom cloud...wow....nice. i timed an army which was approaching its city with the nuclear device such that when most of the army got close to the city, it was also the instant when the nuclear device was detonated on that same city. ownage! but the game sets a limit of 10 nukes to be can set off, because the world would be gone after that. nuclear armageddon. woots. oh. though my enemy was the first one to set off a nuclear missile, i retaliated with something more entertaining than that. an icbm. intercontinental ballistic missile. its damage radius is much greater. i saw the buildings melting, no, they just...disappeared!and that deadly wave emanating, claiming its victims..nice.when they repaired the city to full health, i just sent another lor. so simple. that game is so horrendously stressful. but one can see how he can destress thus when he enters the modern age. ahahha!
n.b. at this point of time the author has been hospitalised(what is that word starting with a d?) in the institute of mental health for obvious reasons.
it was quite funny when i gave mrs toh marian's number. then marian told me that 'ur pd tutor calls you hendrick'. thanks for reminding me ar. so sad..but never mind...mrs long called me HERrick for 2 years. last day of school then i told her it's HERRick. i'm still thinking of dropping econs. to the extent that i'm here blogging and not studying it. cos that common test totally demoralised me. 10 marks wth. sigh. and i never had interest in econs anyway. i don't even know what made me take up such an alien subject. we'll see how it goes. well, from teachers' recommendations if any, if u get it. gp for me was about 'animals being kept in the wild, not zoos' do you agree. so i wrote about zoological specialists saving the animals' skin literally. for such comic breaks that i had i wonder would i be taken out of point again and awarded, no, stamped with another failed grade. if all goes 'well' then i'll have more friends next year. haha.
hope the rest of the week will be fine. i'm thinking of changing my internet connection to a faster one since end of this month would be end of that 2 years contract. get faster broadband, get free gimmicks. most importantly, it's that 512 kbps is priced around my current 256. then when i get 512 then 1 year later ...sigh. hope i can get 1500. then can dl all the dunno what i want.
all the best for your exams to all my friends and enemies(if i have lol)..we will pass together!
"plak!";
x 9:36 pm
exam eve
Your word is: Brooding. You are a true thinker and
often try to figure out the meaning of life,
why we are all here etc. You may not be so
social, and often think twice before acting but
those thoughts you have in your mind never stop
flowing in. Sometimes you can be so
concentrated you forget about other things that
you have to do. Don't change, this world needs
deep people.
What dark word represents you? (anime pics and 7 outcomes)
brought to you by Quizilla
doing this i got off waye ning's blog..brooding..hmm.only know brood war keke dunno brooding. while everyone is busy studying, i 'm still playing the comp. some silly game known as maple story wth. good for destressing purposes. but went to play rise of nations too. it gets me more stressed. i haven't started on econs cos i gave up long ago. maths, i'm just hecking it. geography, i placed my file in school and forgot about it. not to mention i haven't read any notes before,save to complete some crack assignment. history, suppose u can crap it out. which is what i did the 2 previous times. luck's gonna be with me! oh well. back to my games..
"plak!";
x 8:24 pm
yay
okie shawn i'm glad we've sorted things out! so u know what's wrong already. and so u should know why the guys always say u are zhong se qing you and all that. then there's this issue of me taking everything as a class issue. the thing between shawn and caryn, i took it between we three-shawn wee liang and i. definitely not the class. and the zhong se qing you thing..i didn't really do that much. just that i took it seriously, and shawn didn't, as we two have agreed. you guys should have known how close we three were. went about together, went for lessons sat together. so that time really broke it. yes i'm being a total jerk and very anal when doing the class stuff. but it's cos i was very desperate at times. when i ask stuff, i don't get full participation. or like, even worse there'll be some distractions. THEN I BECOME THE MONSTER AND EAT EVERYONE UP. whoever stands in the way unfortunately gets screwed by me. so i apologise for that lah! during delta, i learnt a lot. that the thing about 'getting the job done' is NOT for the class leaders. it's for the school leaders,cca leaders, councillors all that.so class leaders are supposed to be the nice sweet sweet cutie that kind u know..occasionally become the punchbag(we know of civics right?ahahaha). yes. before i become ur most hated lousiest class rep , i was like that. but i always took things too seriously. i really craved for perfection. oh what a freak. now i'm trying to change. okay give me that chance can or not? got anything u buay song, tell me la. i wun bash u up. but then i may....nothing nothing it's no use if u just tell everyone else how much i suck though it's true but i don't know right. cos the solution is with me. right? makes sense?k let's go mug. woots.
that was what i put up on the class forum. after a long intensive thrashing out session. finally. no more hidden sentiments, no more hatred. but still, class mentality. sigh. i just need more participation. and like what chee wei said, active participation. we don't have that..never mind. service learning..things will surface then..class will solve it as one. but this problem is also the solution. weird. hmmm.
back to who i am. yesterday i was at ang mo kio library studying with marian..this group of aj girls were behind me..stupid lar..talk so loudly so aa for what. library leh si geen na. then talk about this rj girl whose nose was what flying in the air. so kua zhang. u want to go lunch u go lah. have to tell everyone issit. really retareded la. i'm sure when i went off with marian they all also got things to say. then spread gossip, as teachers sometimes do too. as if they bother me..but thing is that they really have no life lah. sad. we were discussing accents. about how she's losing hers, and about how i've even stopped speaking english. lol. she's losing her american accent cos of the 'peasantry'...hahaha...remember the days when mr edwin heng screamed at us and said " shut up u peasants!" to the amusement of the class instead. then he bo bian also laugh..i recall that time when i got transferred to 4/2. kept silent for half the year, getting insulted by joel sometimes cos i was really an easy target or what. then during june, i opened up. then got respect and all..but they discovered i had this real horrid accent. don't know from where it came from. i thought i didn't have an accent what. but everyone said so. so i have it. but it's cos it's the only way to speak fluently for me that is. okie fine lah i have an accent too bad for u lah har.
k nowadays i dun even speak much english already. crazy. but it's okay. speaking chinese is all the same lah. though it's substandard. always ger expressions wrong. xi pi nen rou become cui pi nen rou. how screwed up my chinese is. oh my and there's that chinese exam next week. like how to study man. luck's gonna be with me..it will be..good thing is that almost all of us will be screwed for the chinese exam! yay!!!
"plak!";
x 9:44 pm
opinion
dang it if you're unhappy with what i said then too bad, for it's my job. and u chose me. so i have to solve these kind of problems. no one else would.
and marian u should be happy that i finally have opinions :)
"plak!";
x 3:47 am
and i looked beyond the looking glass
i just keep thinking. why the class has to be so small. it's an arena for conflict. but even when it's so small. it's such an irony. everyone is guilty of it, but not necessarily contrite about it. i feel damn awkward whenever i see it repeat, day after day. the second intakers are being quite left out. after school, they are the first to scurry off. where to? i don't know, but home's my probable guess. and they go together. why is it that they will never quite seem to integrate into the class? there are some such monks on the boys side too, but hey at least they communicate with all the boys in class. even make digs at one another sometimes.
then the girls? first three months versus second-intakers? first three months ppl dun make much effort to even acknowledge their presence sometimes, just preoccupied in their own world. maybe with some other guy in class too. but that guy would have been labelled as a traitor and condemned to the firing squad. the second-intakers then? somewhat similar, but it's that they are in their own world, and they don't seem to like talking with the rest of the classmates. it's been going on since term started. i can't bear to see it happening anymore. everyone just pretends there's nothing wrong. i mean yes, we do have our cliques and selves to stick with, but this situation is a very unhealthy one in which we dun even have a minimal amount of contact every other class would have.
maybe i should be like everyone else, just looking through people without looking at people.
the boys.they would have some constructive opinions about this. yes i'll go talk to them. okie but at least a few would be reading this. tell me what ur views are. the guys. we always have so much to share. we know what's wrong. but we can't say much in school or at home. perhaps we should have a secret blog. yes, if you're a girl and you're reading this congratulations now then u realise we have many problems in class. i'm sorry if you're si min or charis or janice or whoever might be reading this, but i'm sorry the situation in the class is definitely far from the utopia we had in the first three months. with that i take it upon myself to have failed as the class rep to stop things from deteoriating to such a level. it's come to a point where it's useless to say 'some people are like this' or whatnot cos the class only has 22 members of which a definite fixed amount have never taken part in the affairs as we know it. i guess it'll be soon that i'll have to mention names. it's gonna be ugly, but i don't see any other solution as of yet. maybe consult mrs toh. hmm. but she might get the impression we're trying to gang up on some person we dun like kind of thing, so no way for now. if you realise you're getting some kind of blockade then it means something is very wrong with you. and that includes u shawn.
i don't know how our friendship got so bad. may be me being too harsh on you, but surely there were things u had done so far that warrants u such a treatment from me, and all the other boys in the class. i guess u know already, but u never want to change. zhong se qin you. guys in a group never tolerate that. in fact it just makes u a major booboo the instant you are like that. and it's time to be a man. if u like her, just say it. nothing to be afraid of. it just so sickens the other boys that you seem to like a person but only thing u do is to deny it. we dun like this kind of fickle-minded ness. and anyway we aren't dumb. 6 minds put together are much better at analysing than 1 mind thinking nothing's wrong. things i should say, things i shouldn't say. i shan't say those. until u decide to change, the boys will just be irritated at your unimpressive efforts to cover up matters. but know this, if u like er-hem, the guys will be behind you. yea but ____ , the guys have been thinking of this..okie it's really very mean but we really want to know why. shawn's obsession with lindee for 5 whole months with little reciprocation on her side is quite a major thing that has plagued class discussions and fuelled longlasting debates. then in just 1 week, you totally forgot her and immediately 'changed ur target' as local lingo goes. that left us with gaping gaps. which lasted more than 1 week. shawn, you're incredible. never had i thought i would have to impeach a friend whom i held so dear to me. but u changed. i'm not going to offer u a compromise.
to all the 35 ppl, sorry if u think my class has been hating u or what(i'm just hoping someone sees this). suppose everyone does get irritated by other classes every once in a while. but i assure u, it has never gotten any worse than that. how are we to care about others, when all we care for is 'ourselves'. dun suppose my class could do much hating or what when it's all in a mess. or maybe it's cos of that mess that shards and splinters fly out and hurt others? i don't know.
i know there are people who don't like me, maybe that's why my life has been made difficult. but then you don't have to come telling me u hate me, u just have to come up to me telling why u hate me, for i already know who.i ain't dumb. i can analyse better than u. of course, i'm quite an actor,or poseur. so i know ur acting sucks, for i already saw through it. and then i will tell you why i hate you too. of course for some days we wun be liking each other, but at least there's hope for peace thereafter. just do it, will you. after all, that's the only way people would change. in the environment that i know of.
i've gone past tolerating. past ignorance. it's hammer time. i don't want to be launching any covert wars. i want everyone to be pleased with each other. i want people to tolerate and forgive and forget. i'm just too ambitious. perhaps it's time to come out to talk about what's wrong.
"plak!";
x 3:35 am
unforgettable
yes i can say the class outing on saturday was a great success. everyone who came for it enjoyed himself/herself. but i was quite disappointed that some classmates didn't attend at the last minute. it's like they promised they would be there a week in advance, but i guess they did not seek permission from their parents beforehand though..so next time i can warn them about it..not all parents are so liberal..especially so for girls..and mrs toh couldn't come at the last minute too..so i was sort of down for that while cos i realised we'll all be having less than 10 classmates there eventually, but not that it mattered. i always believe there is something good in something bad, so the good thing was that mutiny was impossible. like it was easy to seek opinion, and people won't be challenging your plans for the day..we all came to decisions swiftly, thus fully utilising what little time we seemed to have while we were having fun. formalities aside..
we had lunch at the foodcourt. only 1 that would be open in the day. most of us ate chicken rice..very nice but expensive, as expected. then went to pool. somehow i seem to be losing interest in the game..doesn't satisfy much of iwonderwhat. then we went to arcade. the great thing was that 50 cents kept me occupied for 15 mins. played marvel vs capcom 2. damn nice. all the games are old, but this one's the best and most colourful. 3 characters on each side somemore. 50 cents did a great job at killing all my stress. then we went to lan after that!
ages since i last went lan. and played warcraft. though i have the disc i realise i haven't been playing for 1 whole year. my skills were still there, somewhat i think. cos i was the second fragger. terence being the first as expected. wee liang was a free frag. always happy to see his hero. my side won..but only cos terence had no teammates who really knew how to play the game.. then after that played cs. damn fun. think i got second fragger and top death score. seemed that i always went on suicide runs. cos it's ice world. i soon realised my enemies'(all classmates also) weakness..they were on the defensive, and were slower in getting ready. so i rushed to enemy side as soon as i could..easy to get free frags cos i found ppl choosing their guns! ahaha..and the map is more of knowing what ur friends' are thinking than the skills itself..for example..u shouldn't follow an enemy all the distance, but instead pop up in front of him. of cos it's very dangerous..my strat when i spawned near the middle corridor was rush centre, turn left/right, bang! again tyconess ruled. gunned down all 3 enemies , headshots. 1 after another. damn fun. tyconess.what to expect. then i repeated something i did before. gunned down all 3 with tmp. lol. schmeiser anyone?
pool day was all the more hilarious. jian qi and renny didn't want to play on, so i was left with terence chee wei chee yao wee liang. we 5 played pool day. so damn fun. i was always using the shot gun against ppl whose back faced me. ahaha...while they were running forward...and a straight line too...so it's damn easy..poor chao ji pai(super chief college photographer), my fellow class rep who's the most friendly guy in class and wee liang my beng buddy. i think terence and i won more than half the games..cos of...
wee liang. always hiding in the dark corner, waiting for me to pop up and he'd kill me with his arctic. first few times, i got fragged. then, my turn. still hiding there, i braced myself for his presence when i got close. really concentrated. then sprayed..yay then he died more times than me already. (he was just sitting next to me throughout ahahahaha, but i didn't screen him). after which i would go find the rest. chee wei. another one. hiding on top of the basin. always found him there like i found wee liang. same thing happened also. ahaha..so i complained that the games were all the same! cos it's always kill wee liang then chee wei. provided chee yao didn't get me. hahaa...no matter what it's still a game..but it has allowed me to know their character too. same goes for the other way round. like i know chee wei and wee liang stick to proven and tested strategies, id est, CAMPING. defensive ppl. while i am the hunter. the crazy guy who doesn't bother about his life and goes around in search of death.terence was the cautious player. so his death count was quite low. chee yao was the strategic player. employed both offensive and defensive modes of play. but i think i didn't get to 'see' him that much. only wee liang and chee wei. if not for the steamboat, i would have played on :)
everyone else went to get the stuff after payment. wee liang and i slacked there. we were very mean. this woman walked past, then we two both erupted laughing. reason why, i wouldn't say. only we two know. ahahaha...super mean..then he was beside me. deep-frying his stuff. so we two got it. all the oil splashed on our hands(and faces). nice one. oh, new previously classified information reveals that terence came to the finding that we two suffered the most piercing attacks because we killed too many prawns(more on that coming right up)somehow i felt that i didn't eat that much..perhaps due to the lunch we ate. jian qi went to get meat, and came back with a mountain-full of bacon. ahaha..cause for misery later on. then he said he couldn't eat beef, but i think he got some beef cubes back..luckily i gave them to wee liang before he could violate any religious rule :) spent the rest of the night splashing oil around..and an issue that erupted in that period causing great concern was that of(i tried to make this sentence sound as if it was plagiarised from a history text) the 2 containers of live prawns. wee liang and i discovered to our horror that no one else except for us ate prawns. so we just downed one and a half container by ourselves. the rest cos we couldn't finish anymore, so everyone 'helped out'(oi u all were supposed to eat right from the start also!). wee liang and i had so much fun with the LIVE prawns.woot. while they were still alive, we:
-dipped their lower half into their fiery bath of death, and
-slapped them against the table(okay i confess that was me) and
-plucked out their eye, then another eye, then a leg or two(there are quite some legs dangling on a prawn, guess it doesn't matter how many we plucked)
-plunged them headfirst into wildwildwet
-aligned them on one side of their body in the mixture so that they would no longer swim the way they did for all the previous parts of their lives
-and last but not least, my favourite method of execution. i twisted off a few prawn heads while they were still conscious. then deshelled them, throwing them into the prawny broth.
all these we did, much to the horror of the rest of our gorified queasy unimpressed classmates. oh well. xD
actually, christabel and renny could not stand the sight of us putting dead prawns into the pot already..sorry guys..but hope u understand there was no other way of making them edible..unless u wanna come to wee liang or i for suggestions...mwahahaha..saw chee yao getting crabsticks.. reminded me of my wife. wow. how smart she was to place the pieces on the foil. only thing was that the plastic wrapper was still on! someone thought there was a mental institution in every major town in singapore eh..there's only the one a stone's away from ur house lah!ahaha.. ahaha..please don't cause me to die of laughter..all ur other jokes.. i'll go train on my common sense too..luckily it was ur sis that day. the excuse for me calling u till so late was so lame right..i got some kind of problem..need someone to talk to..it's like it came out of a channel 8 script. i think ur sis saw through that already...ahaha..
oops sorry..come back to the outing! we guys all had a great time!(only 2 girls:bel and shawn though) i really wanted as many classmates to come as possible..i did a lot of thinking on different people's mentalities..carefully analysed it..then i sent all different messages to everyone to confirm whether they were going or not..despite my efforts..i'll look oon the bright side of life! i'm glad everyone had fun!though the steamboat was at times a torture(try having to finish so many prawns all by urself and another friend..thanks ar everyone)..time flies when you're really looking back at the golden moments you had. spent 1 hour on this post..i'll organise more outings next time! hopefully more people can turn up. especially the 2nd intaker classmates. i feel we really have a huge gap between us..i'll review my policies and see what i can do when school starts/common tests commence. till then, time to finally start on work.
"plak!";
x 12:14 am
rants and dedications
if u think i'm the only class leader complaining, look at this :
"Next.. i wanna clarify matters with my fellow classmate.. well... firstly, a person is neva under the influence of another.. its a matter of choice and u allowed urself to be under the shadow of another person.. Sexist as ms alice teo is, she is nice at times too.. so stop making it sound as if she is a total wreck.. As for the cloths, shannie did ask whether they needed help and they say its ok.. if u want help, THEN BLOODY SAY IT. dun give stupid answers that arent here nor there.. We make announcements sitting down? Well, the only time when shannie was sitting down was on tues class civics. He was discussing issues.. which u pple dint actively take part in either.. well.. im sorry if u find me egoistical.. coz its juz me.. and i dun tink im ego as in really ego? u made it seem as if u knew me really well to spot my flaws juz like that.. Wat makes u tink wat u see on a few occasions is what the person is like? There is always a reason behind every action of any rational human being.. U wanna know y im so "attention seeking"? so crazy? making so much noise? TRYing to seem HAPPY? well.. its coz im not happy, and STAGE is only thing that drives me forward? Y am i making noise and being crazy? coz thats the only way to let me not dwell on stuff that haunt me every night while i am at home.. so i am WRONG in trying to appear in ur photos.. so i shant.. i admit that is WRONG on my part if u are really offended by it.. as for gossips... i dunno wat u're referrin to.. if u're toking bout jun kai's.. every1 knows even b4 we say.. as for whether is it the one concerning u.. EXCUSE ME! i tink u oughtta make things clear.. who is it exactly doing it.. im sorry to inform u.. i'll only REFLECT on stuff that i think i am wrong in.. like for example, spoiling the photos by appearing in it? i dun exactly care if im likable or not with u or the class (coz majority of the class is girls) but sadly, i live for myself.. when im standing upright, my shadow will neva be crooked.. y should i stay outta urs? like i said.. i dun live for u? u should stay away from me if u dun like me..and if u WANNA vote us out as class leaders.. go ahead.. i dun care.. i find it a chore.. but i've got no choice.. i was voted in by ppl.. i dint nominate myself.. i cant be bothered to.. the class did.. u think its fun? when we dun have cooperation from u pple? when we have discussions.. what the hell are u pple doing? looking dead.. staying here and there.. toking amongst urselves.. the only pple who are really contributing r juz that same few pple.. not U included.. y bother smiling at ppl when u dun mean that smile.. u tink u're the only one that have problmes? well u're wrong! u only have a problem with me and shan.. thats all.. i've got a home that is on the rocks.. i am so damn stressed.. by wat my LIFE! i rather end it then to continue with it la.. the only reason i wun kill myself is becoz of the minority of ppl in my life that i find it wotrthwhile to live for.. i wouldnt call u a bitch.. coz i will not put myself in the wrong by callling u names. what i have written my defence to ur accusations.. if u arent happy with me.. we'll sit down and thrash it out.. dun leave it behind ur blog.. im sorry if im causing u any misery or have caused u any in the past term.. but i think u've gotta change ur attitude and look at things in a more open perspective.. :) "
not that all parts are relevant, but you can extract common points there. my attitude is same as xavier's. we're after all, best fwens! ahahahah!!!so is marian yay! maybe things would be better if i weren't that stressed out due to my class. but then i know things wun get done. sigh.
i spent 4 hours talking to my wife on the phone. 11.30 to 3.30. it's been a long while since i talked that long on the phone. the previous time was for about 2 hours with her also. accidentally switched off the phone..and i tried calling back. but oh no. the person who picked up the phone wasn't her....it was HER MUM!!!!!phew she only thought i was mad and put down the phone. only then i realised what i had done..calling people's houses at 3 something..then when i thought i had just learnt a lesson, i called back again! i dunno if her mum will kill her today..sobs..forgive me for being dumb please..not totally my fault that i have no common sense and i'm a himbo..my sis would find it weird that i'm super quiet..i'll have nothing much to say usually but when i talk to her..oh my i'm so noisy..but i'll keep it at that. cos i've got stuff to talk to her about. love ya wife muackks. so love talking to you.. i really appreciate you talking to me..but i dun show it..haha..
yay gonna go out to marina bay soon. gonna have fun! we wun stop till we're burnt! mwahahaha. go arcade, go pool, go soccer, go eat! yay! that's the way life should be..let me escape from it all today..i'll come back to reality tmr. lol think i'll get walloped by everyone cos i call my classmates kids. ahahaha..dun get mad at me!
"plak!";
x 9:44 am
dun think too much.but still i did.
and so i organized this coming outing myself. i wonder if it was the best thing i did, or the worst. christabel is already feeling pessimistic about the success of that outing(though there are reasons valid enough for her to be); i'm not too happy with that seeing i'm the one fully in charge of it. it will go fine. i will not see how it goes, nor will i force things to happen. i will lead things to happen. it's a different approach altogether. total ignorance, total involvement, discretion.
got 15 for the history class test. terence disclosed that result just to make me happy, thanks so much. for i was feeling an all-time down(still recovering from it) then. class test results don't count for anything, so be it. common test was 12.5. haha.. considered not bad i suppose. hmm. laugh or cry. i don't know. science ppl are doing much better.
haven't touched any work at all, nor started any form of revision. one step closer to orientation next year. more friends. i really don't know what to do. when i study i flunk. when i don't study i get much better results. either way i'm afraid. mrs toh also had this system. or so she said.
i'm not supposed to think too much. oh yea, i have to better appreciate the people around me. i should always remember.
either an overspilling pot of bubbling positive energy, or a cold hard canister chock-full of negative energy that sucks the life out of everyone around. herrick. i wonder what you're thinking now. will you be hating, will you be forgiving the next moment. you're just too warm . you're just a mean machine. are you even yourself?
as a class rep , i must persevere. all the patience i can get. no matter what i do, i face opposition. when i direct people to the yellow brick road, people tread every where else. instead of oz, you land up in ghetto wrecks. what i've been doing for the class, it gets misinterpreted. even worse, unappreciated. but i dun suppose the student councillors get any form of appreciation for all the stuff they do for the school, the expectations they have to meet, do they? so it's normal. i'm used to it. it's hard getting foreign minds to think from your perspectives when they are all indulged in the world of their own. away from the madding crowd.
"plak!";
x 7:27 pm
huh you'd say.
cuban missile crisis.
wrong things that had been done before. action by one side. awakening by one side. missiles aimed at america, all for the sake of defence as they said it. unknowingly both sides had the same excuses.
end of world war 2. british spies who had served the third reich were executed after the war.
in primary school i had this so-called 'nemesis' who was my good friend. name's eric. he declared me to be his nemesis just cos our names sound alike.
i don't want to have another nemesis, and a real one at that. i didn't have any feelings of hatred. or perhaps someone made it appear so.
onethefool.
"plak!";
x 8:41 pm
lost
oh yes i finally got back my gp test. sorry to disappoint all my former classmates and whatnot. i got 19/50. 1 mark higher than hou teng. the rest of the class did much better. half got a pass at least?hah. i expected this. it all started from my o level english results. b3. then now this. never mind. fail if i would. this time i got second again. second lowest. at least i had second highest in maths and history. oh yea forgot to mention i got 12.5. jian qi got 13. highest in class. chee wei got same marks as me too. yup. all these grades...similar to last term's. what am i doing, blogging bout trivial things.
forgot to mention that i have not touched any homework,though my classmates' consolation is that there's not much. yea thanks. but everyone's supposed to do all the revision they can manage, and similarly i have touched on none. ahha. looking to fail all my stuff. 1 A pass and 2AO. of course i have to pass 1 gp and 1 chinese. so that makes that A subject to be either geog history maths or econs. well i placed these subjects in the descending order of the chances that i'll pass. i won't drop geog but of course. but something tells me that people want me to. ah well. over suspicious of people again. time and again i've always had these thoughts. but it's in my genes i suppose. you won't know how close my mum is to stalin. sigh. history...hou teng told me he had no interest in history at all. so he might be dropping it. but if he's doing fine then why not continue. but wait who is really doing fine. i learnt from jun fan that many science students got an A for their physics this term, but even so an A student may be ranked below average in the whole cohort. chem can't be that 'lucky' again, but i do suspect the average student would be getting decent grades. not like the arts ppl.
still remember that highest for geog was a B. solitary B among the cohort of about 1o0. then Cs about 1 or 2 per class. or something. yea i got D. meaning i got the top few again. top 5 in class perhaps. nonsense.maths that 15.5. i still remember the first term test though. supposed to be easy but i got like second last. 14/30. so did hou teng, chee wei and chee yao. chee yao got 15 this term. 3rd in class yea. both made some kinda silly joke. that he'd improved by 1 mark, and i improved by 1.5 marks. haha. bleah the sensitivity. we were happy to have received improvement yea. terence said he was considering dropping maths, but cos our teacher's mr hong he didn't want to. i'm thinking of dropping econs. so far i'm the only one who has such a thought. i really dunno if econs is useful after all. mr hong thought that econs is important for arts students? but i told him i have geog and hist already, so econs won't be as important as for other ppl. i really dunno. jun han has trouble coping with econs he told me, and he doesn't see the point in having to study so much while getting unsatisfactory results. i know ms ng is a good teacher, i really like her lessons, but i don't know what i should do. i mean i'm already taking 4 As but i don't know if i can cope. and i have not been studying for my tests as a matter of fact. the travelator to doom.
it's taking one more passenger.
"plak!";
x 8:04 pm
没什么，小事一场
我们终于拿回了期待已久的历史测验考卷。就如平日，成绩真的一点都不振仅，何况
说道‘卓越’。看来我们班有待蛮多的进步。大家得多多努力，互相照料呀！就如
数学测验，我又得到全班第二名的‘荣誉’。有时候真不懂该笑，该哭。三十分之
十五分半，这种分数，谁能看得过？真令人不知所措。嗨。多么的努力，只得回这
种的收获。我们只不过是高一生吧了。我们得有很多的耐心，不准许放弃。看到欣
倪往往用华文来记下她的感想，我不禁也受影响了吧。说实在的，我真搞不懂为什
么我会用华文记下这些东西。真奇怪。这几天来，我真不自在。为什么。好笑的是，
欣倪好像没听我说几句话语。但我知道她的话语讲得很流利，甚至还卷出个北京腔
来了呢！我知道我的华文古里古怪的，但我在努力的进步！一个A， 和两个AO及格，
就能升上高二了。。看似容易，但我不知它的难度。。年终会考才看这办吧。。
(希望下次，我的华文会有进步，您读了，不会吐血！)
"plak!";
x 11:54 pm
type a or b personality
About Type A and Type B Personality
According to scientific literature, Type A behavior is characterized by an intense and sustained drive to achieve goals and an eagerness to compete. Personalities categorized as Type A tend to have a persistent desire for external recognition and advancement. They are involved in various functions that bring about time restrictions. Such personalities have a tendency to speed up mental and physical tasks with extraordinary mental and physical alertness. These characteristics make for super-achievers and high-powered people.
Type A individuals can get a lot done and have the potential to really move ahead in the world. But there is a high price to pay. Certain components of such a personality can inhibit happiness and even threaten health. For example, the goals that Type A folks set are often poorly defined and therefore hard to achieve—a perfect recipe for misery.
Type A is also characterized by a general discontentedness and the impulse to be overly critical and demanding, even contemptuous of imperfection, in the self and others. This focus on negative aspects and the accompanying bursts of hostility, impatience result in guilt, remorse and anxiety.
Type A personalities are motivated by external sources (instead of by inner motivation), such as material reward and appreciation from others. Type A folks experience a constant sense of opposition, wariness, and apprehension--they are always ready for battle. And anyone can imagine how this constant (and very exhausting) existence would deplete reserves of contentment and happiness and disrupt personal equilibrium.
Although the literature is somewhat inconsistent because of problems with the conceptualization and definition of Type A behavior patter, it has been linked to higher risks of cardiovascular diseases. The risks seemed to be reduced with intervention aimed at reducing Type A behavior. Indeed, those with a high Type A score would be happier and healthier if they were to file down the jagged edges of their personality. By learning how to control the negative behavior patterns while preserving their drive, Type A people can be successful without sacrificing their emotional well-being.
Type B behavior is usually defined as the absence of Type A behavior. Type B personalities are relaxed and have a laid-back attitude and posture. They are friendly, accepting, patient, at ease, and generally content. They are at peace with themselves and others. They show a general sense of harmony with people, events, and life circumstances. They tend to be trusting. They focus on the positive aspects of things, people and events. Type B folks are self-encouraging, have inner motivation, are stable and have a pleasant mood. They are interested in others and accept trivial mistakes. They have an accepting attitude about trivial mistakes and a problem-solving attitude about major mistakes. They are flexible and good team members. The Type B person is able to lead and be led.
Your score = 54
What does your score mean?
You seem to have Type B personality. Your attitude towards life is more of the "smell the roses" kind and you know how and when to relax. Nonetheless, you realize that picking up a challenge and competing a little bit for your place in the sun can add some spice to your life. Generally, you are easy to be around, and people tend to feel relaxed and comfortable in your presence. The equilibrium is important, so don't let your hostile, aggressive, and competitive alter ego take over too often. Yours is a very healthy attitude towards life.
i definitely hope it's true.
http://www.queendom.com/tests/minitests/type_a_teens_access.html
"plak!";
x 11:26 pm
today
did another iq test..this test seemed like a bluff anyway..ahah..
IQ Score = 126
What does your score mean?
Way to go! Your performance on the test was well above the population average. Typically, people with scores in this range perform very well academically, can relatively easily make it through university and generally achieve success in life.
haha. guess i had too much time to spare.
here's the link, for the bored.
http://www.queendom.com/tests/iq/classical_iq_r2_access.html
had a wonderful time with xavier and marian today. my besties =)
"plak!";
x 11:14 pm
hockey
went to commonwealth to get all the sticks for the hockey guys and girls with mark and shafiq. met the coach for the first time. name's charles, nice family man. but not sure if he'd be our batch's coach though. then the guys all went delta to have our first official training. and after 2 months of inactivity. it wasn't easy to pick up again, since my basics were shaky already since last time. li heng and desmond didn't turn up. don't know why. malcolm didn't turn up. he chose choir instead of hockey. glad that i saw andrew, thought he quit hockey for council. why is it that council makes it so difficult for a council-elect to quit? after all, the person's just an ELECT. meaning this trial period is for him/her to get used to it or if not, to just quit? and what of democracy? crap.
during the trainings i kept repeating my mistakes. as coach said we could have easily blamed it on some easy excuse, but i knew what was wrong anyway..i didn't have enough sleep. i've not got more than 9 hours of sleep even during the holidays. 7 hours would be what i call fortunate? MARK PLEASE PUT UP WITH ME! thanks so much for guiding me for so long..and i knew that i couldn't run elsewhere to get water, yet i still did. really sorry. it was something that i KNEW that was wrong but which i still did. seems that i lack discipline. i'm all the more disappointed in myself cos i'm the class rep. and i'm not really socialising with the hockey guys much. it's not just in hockey. i've become cold towards new people i meet..more or less..that shell around me is forming again..waye ning can't help me melt it again..though i've got a close bunch of friends now..maybe that's why the shell is there..i'm so tired i can't think straight.
after unloading the stuff in school went to cwp with kian lin and jason to play pool. just so tired. played much worse than i already am. yea and they should be quite entertained by my noob playing..my classmates know better though..ahah..i'm just not me. when i got back home, bathed already, went out after dinner to slam the ball against the wall and back. did that for a while. i'm really serious about hockey . suppose i will set aside some time everyday just for that.
hit it hard with u venting it all out, and it comes back to you just about as fast. and u keep going on and on, the fire furiously raging through your fragile heart. on and on, the way it will be. my nick says it all. i know i'm in for deep shit. but i know i want to survive. that visit to charles' house was really enlightening. reinforced the warning that there aren't softies in hockey. yep so i grit my teeth. i got thrusted by the stick just next to my ankle today, i kept mum. grit man grit. oh my..and that hockey stick's odour. guang wu that rich kid was making noise about it being smelly. until a dumptruck was next to us. joked to him, which one smells nicer, stick or truck? answer was obvious. yep so the stick smells good. the smell sticks to my hand. probably a clingy odour on my hands for the next 2 months at least.
today's 6 on 6 was funny. unbalanced u can say. our team was thrashing the other. should have been more balanced.. yu ting and i were defenders. and where did we stand? a bit further from the midfield line most of the time. and cleavon the keeper could even move to the midfield line..what nonsense..it's like fun, but i know it's not gonna do us any good. we're supposed to improve together till a certain standard isn't it. togetherness. i don't see it in us yet. despite consistent efforts to be really friendly and nice to each other, we are not together. but the situation will change. when it all gets heated up.yep and i'm guilty of that togetherness thing. i'll never forget it. lesson learnt.
and i realised another thing today. charles said we're sportsmen. it had never occured to me before. yes, i'm a sportsman. a hockey player. no more choir, or other crap. but it shames shafiq and i that our 2.4 timing is 12:30 at best. we two know we're in for deep shit. hehe. the others don't know. so much in a day, i wonder if what i'm rambling makes any sense at all.
"plak!";
x 10:00 pm
allo. harlow. har ar ar ar loe
i just love to watch gary brolsma sing!
i've been so addicted to 'Numa Numa' that i sang it nonstop for some time today. catch the original here!
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/numa.php
and i think people have made a tribute to him/joke outta him in another rendition here:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/flash/american_idle_numa.html
"plak!";
x 12:32 am
ntn much
changed the background music to hollaback girl. it was boulevard of broken dreams for quite some time. i read about joel's blog, and i have differing opinions. a blog to me is something which i can keep and read myself. if friends want to read them, why not? that's cos i'm willing to share. and really, that's all the reasons i will keep a blog. so in conclusion, a blog is something for oneself and his/her group of friends and family.
spent these few days playing rise of nations. unlike other games, it's one where u get wiser with every game. i've been chatting too much perhaps..i shall tone down from now on..and play play play!
"plak!";
x 8:57 am
personality test- again..
oh yes again i contine to ramble about delta. now i feel so bad for dao-ing the kids who were screaming my new name, of which i should never mention lest people should lay in pools of their own ejected blood in death.
okay during the camp we did this personality test which most probably cost us half the total camp fee. it was a leadership personality test, of which we were classified under 4 different kinds of birds namely peacock dove eagle and owl. there were 16 combinations in all, with extremes of a species or hybrids of dual species. everyone fell under a dominant species..and the break down was like...eagle 1 person, owl 1 or 2 persons, dove and peacock half each. i can't remember what dove and peacock were like, but basically they were the types who were more of the people's welfare are imperative kind of personality, and they emphasised the soft side, caring loving pompousness peace-loving and all. then the eagle and owls were the task-oriented ones, efficient...that kind of thing. i remember vaguely mine, which was the owl. kind of a weird feeling when mr lee asked the respective types to raise their hands, and i was either alone or close to it. u could say i didn't do so willingly :P but anyway, owls are the ones who work with facts and statistics, and that i will seem distant and aloof from people who do not know me well. the rest mentioned about efficiency i think..trading off of relationships to getting the task done..yea something which i agree with..i dun know what else it mentioned, but when i tried to search for more on the net i couldn't find any information. hmmm but that report will be submitted to mrs toh so she will know what kind of leader i am..same goes for chee yao also. i suddenly remembered ....owls are conservative, stick to rules and whatever had been established....that kind of thing.
prior to that there was another classification..either task/structured,task/unstructured,people/structured,people/unstructured. again i fell into the minority group. which was task/unstructured. i knew what the guy was gonna say anyway, cos i know too well already. but anyway he said stuff like, thank god its's just but a small group! then everyone started laughing..then he continued..but it's them who will survive in times of crisis not the other people. they are the ones whose workplace will be a mountain full of mess, but yet they will know where exactly their documents are. he forgot to add this la, but i'm gonna say it for him. task/unstructured people are the ones who will get the job done by unconventional means, and they will do it more splendidly than the rest! (sorry for being ego....low self-esteem =P). k so in short i am tardy hardy..i thrive best in chaos.
one last thing- i know i am not handsome la. haha. it's what's inside, not outside that counts. so what if u have the looks huh? people get close to u just cos u have the looks what. lousy you. k dun scold ppl anymore le. must maintain my image as friendly and smiley hor epsilon! ahahaha...
"plak!";
x 1:59 am
DELTA!!!!i lerv you!!!!!
there's SOOOOOOOO MUCH i wanna talk about! it's just the best camp ever!! i really don't know where and how to start, so i guess i'll fill in bits and pieces as i go along..i dunno what to write about, so i guess i'll work with materials i have in hand.. which is the testimonials my friends wrote for me!(egoism :x)
Herrick
i could tell that you are very enthusiastic about this camp and equally so in controlling your class. i believe you have the capability to do so. Good luck and all the best.
-Jun Fan
To Henrick
Cath High rox!haha,nice to know that there is cath high ppl in my group, easy to communicate.. You quite a easy going person, so hope to see you again soon =)
-Ali(Bing Zhao)
Henrick(Handsome),
u cat high people r all the same,
gay is gay
Man is Man
Muscular guy, u are good with kids leh!
-Xiao Qiang(cockroach)
Herrick:
You are very friendly with kids as i could see you mixing with children.You are also responsible in doing things as you try to voice out the problem you face in your class and hope to solve the problems.
-Sijia
Hi (Hair)rick!
Thx 4 lendg me ur pen but sorry 4 losg ur pen! anyway, u've been a great fren, and i appreciate e frenship dat u've given...keep smiling and keep in contact!
-Jerica
Hey dear Herrick,
don't act shy already kz? your yuan xing yi jin bi lu le! hahaz..let me give you some feedback on your behaviour...hmmm...let me recall. e time when u volunteered to help us throw away e empty packages, "ohh..so sweet.." lol. Helpful, friendly guy tt's shy most of the times<- act 1 right? haha! juz kidding la..nice knowing u & keep smiling okie?& last of all, must S I T.Yes sit. Stay in Touch!
-Serene
herrick!
hmm..cat high guy. seriously, i dun hv anything against u guys la, haha, despite e fact that i say u 'all' are flirty, despo and 'liars go to hell', haha it came naturally cos of e many catty guys in my class? haha, perhaps! anywae, u seemed quiet & shy at the start, den later on when got to know u better, u are like so smiley, fun-loving and shy in yer funny sense? haha! handsome boy, as e kiddies said?Stay yer shy-ie, farnie and crazy self? wow!
<3 nikki
Dear Herrick,
Although a little solemn at times, i'm glad you brought up the problems you faced when handling your classmates, as it has given the other group members some insight on class leader roles, and it has given me a good feeling to be able to fulfil my role as an instructor! =)
I hope you have generally enjoyed the camp, and will be able to take something back to your class. Good luck with your classmates and thank you for being a part of this camp.
-Chooi Syn
yep that's what my newfound friends and also our one and only beloved instructor had to say! everyone wrote for everyone else. ah. the memories. never will forget.
hmmm..first of all i noticed bing zhao and wei qiang called me HENRICK. haha..never mind, i saw it coming too..well good old andy thought my name was henrick for 2 whole years(still counting the years now ahahahaha). and wei qiang said i'm muscular? huh..no lor..i don't go gym to train or anywhere else to train on my own..deceived by my fats huh...hahahah..it's my bones la..my ribcage is somehow super expanded..i wonder why too..it's because of it being too heavy that i can't do pushups..okie who cares about my anatomy..
then the thing about handling kids well..okie la our group had 4 guys 4 girls, i could say i smiled the most for the guys..so maybe they were friendly towards me. i remember not saying anything at all, but quite some kids were shouting my name..herrick kor , or eric kor..and i didn't even talk to them at all. but i smiled at them yup. rowdy bunch, but all so lovable!! before we went there, when i was informed that we were doing our service learning on children, my reaction was a dull 'oh no.' but it changed during and after the day out to labrador park. i sort of felt guilty initially, cos i was rather stiff and didn't do much and interact with the children. all cos my contacts were giving me lots of trouble.when it couldn't take the pain anymore, i went to the washroom to get it out and in again, i discovered it had folded. owchhhh....sakitttt... so when i put it back in again, it slowly got better. after a while i discovered a few kids who could be described as the eldest among the group, about primary 5 level children, happily engaged in some conversation. they saw that i was there, so tried to talk about things to pull me in. yep , what i did was in relation to what i heard them say, responded in a strong chinese accent, " O, ni yao wo zjer dian shiao err qu sie mao cher?" haha..then we were soon on our way to more lame stuff..it was raher easy to connect with them, as they were all boys anyway..haha..i dun really know how to handle girls, and of cos girls would do a better job right. the guys talked to me about geylang, prostitution, women, sex, erm..yea...all ill-influenced me. of course i had to respond to them sometimes, but i made sure i was much more innocent than they were. then even easier, what i did was tease this guy, saying he was Ru Hua. that did it. more kids were pulled into the convo, and all were laughing at each other, talking about that actress and her antics..haha..easy wasn't it..though it was not healthy stuff they talked about..
nikki and i went to the trek, while the other group members were in charge of games. initially i had thought there was going to be lousy response, but i saw all my so-called 'fan club members' all coming along, so we had about 30 kids eventually? then we climbed up the stairs in labrador, it was very tiring for the kids actually. walked a bit and we saw a cannon. i had to explain what a cannon was and what it did to a few interested children. which i was too happy to do! yep and we saw a small 20 cent coin- sized frog. animals never fail to fascinate young audiences. before that, the kids happily tortured a bloody millipede and all that. then as we walked we saw cannon shells and bronze sculptures of british soldiers loading the shells into the cannons. yep then i explained why the shells were there and why that battery was there. then we came to a board describing a tunnel nearby which was unfortunately closed. advancing our positions, we came to a couple of boards. they described all that one needed to know about the fort there. the kids asked a lot of questions, and my was i happy. coming out of the trail, we came to a map, on which there was a sign showing 'dragon's teeth gates'. they had learnt quite a bit about it in their chinese text i reckon, and asked me all about i. i explained to them about how zheng ho camed about 500 or 600 years ago, and when he came he saw them marking the entrance to singapore's harbour. now, due to wind and water (erosional agents that is) the portions above the sea were blasted to bits, and i explained to them that all that may be left is just that stump they can't see left. moving forward, there was a slab of rock that appeared in the middle of the forest cliff. i explained the formations to them again, and they were really fascinated to know more. all the kids bombarded me with questions; i could only answer a few. that trek was very fulfilling for me, as i had used both my geog and history knowledge and generated a lot of interest in the children for knowing more about the country we live in. i wonder how nikki did, i think she was just more focused on leading the entire 'expedition'. she was the other protagonist for the girls' side. i dunno if the kids called her piaoliang jie jie or what, but it was only when i got back that i realised the kids had been calling me handsome korkor. hmmm. my groupmates told me so. i know that a lot of kids had been shouting that name throughout, but i ignored them as i thought they were calling another mate. haha..wei qiang was labelled shu dai kor..oh my...the kids are mean..
i shall continue another day..very tired..thoughts disjointed..lousy english..hmm nikki said my eyes are nice..all the girls on our team wore specs, but she wore contacts..so vain..then all the boys on our team wore specs, but...erm...nothing..haha..
"plak!";
x 8:48 pm