eh?
went to suntec with my sis yesterday to buy stuff. 55 bucks for my new camping bag. it's a darn huge adidas black and blue bag..i'm gonna have difficulty transiting to school and back...but i think it's nice...so who cares? ahahaha....then i went to peninsula plaza, cos i remembered the hockey ppl always saying peninsula this peninsula that. after filtering through the creepy antiquated looking shops, of which half were thai, i couldn't find any hockey stuff. dumb me then went to the infomation counter, where that kind security guy pointed out that the shop was across the street. went there i did, and i saw " peninsula shopping centre". i didn't know. so dumb. then went to the basement to look at clothes. actually the clothes looked as if they were made in thailand also, just plain tees with printed designs in front and back..nah i didn't really like them. and the shop tenders were actually people who were obviously ah bengs and ah lians..but just the indian and malay variations..didn't feel comfortable there, and saw this fat guy with his girlfriend. he was in gothic style, and it really didn't match him. fashion disaster. anyway he looked more like an idiot than a goth, so we know he failed. and he looked gross. you know if you can dress up like a goth u wun look gross..you would look something else....nicer. sigh for him.
up i went to the second floor. saw that hockey store finally. or maybe there were two. sigh dumb me. the seniors had always warned against going alone. which i did. i dunno if i got ripped but i got a grays hockey stick bag for 19, a dimpled ball for 5, and a matching adidas shoe bag for 13. hmmm. plus i spent 15 on that shirt i bought in that underworld-like basement. i just couldn't wait perhaps. or maybe it was just convenient then. sigh. seeing that i wun be shopping for a long time again, heck with it la.
delta tmr. and we had trevor's last lesson. i know i'm gonna be in trouble with that new lecturer. well, maybe everyone, save those who bother to suck up. one can see he is a perfectionist kinda guy. and i hate to say it, but he's quite a SISSY. i'm trying very hard not to mock at him for that, for that's just me. mr low(our new history tutor but not lecturer for now)looks like an opposite version of him. much more macho, he packs a ton more charisma than mr seng (the lecturer), who actually goes all the way out to make himself unapproachable. first lesson i can recall him saying " i'm a disciplinarian. " well even if he was, i don't think people do that on first encounters. maybe he was setting records straight. in thirty-three, he would have no need for that discipline of his. most of us do our work. in fact, i can safely say my class is the most disciplined among all four history classes. in any case he wun be my tutor, so far as i know, so maybe we're saved. but he's got nothing for me to be afraid of. the scene of him rolling his eyes at ms ng is always on infinite loop. cos ms ng took a bit more time that ate into that history lesson which was the first time we saw our new tutors, so mr seng rolled his eyes. as far as i am concerned, ms ng is a teacher who knows what is best for her students. i took offense at that rude gesture. even among classmates, rolling your eyes is never a nice thing to do.
oh ya that word nice. i have a love-hate relationship with it. it's a good thing that people say you are nice. but it is also a bad thing. it means you have not a positive characteristic which stands out. people do have well intentions(at least for me), but i shouldn't be too particular. turn gay if i do. i should be quite a happy person. everyone treats me nicely in school. my teachers are understanding, my grades can be said to be better than average(can't be better by much anyway =P) sorta enjoying life.
perhaps i'm gonna talk about
the only thing.people are always selfish. i'm not targetting at anyone in particular, but it happens everywhere, doesn't it? starts in class though. again. the class. politics and more politics. of course, it's not the conventional kind of thing u have, but it manifests in a more subtle form. i'm quite sickened at how people can have a change of attitude in a relatively short span of time towards say, love. shows how flexible one can be. yea right REAL flexible. i really feel like doing something. which half the guys in class do anyway. which is to not talk to girls at all unless absolutely necessary. it's true that girls are the cause of much trouble. more than the guys. i'm sorry all my friends, but i'm basing this on my experiences. in cat high there were never conflicts between classmates. cos why? guys what. need more elaboration? people would just ignore you if u were oversensitive. everyone would just be so happy if the class was made up of boys. sensitivity. a overdose as much as a lack of it is as fatal. and if u show too much of it, would recipients get the wrong idea? and if u don't wish to exercise it at all, would it be fair to be accused when you do have valid reasons for you to not be sensitive to a person in need? and whine whine whine they do. blahhhhhhhh
why do i have to even get involved in all these. can't i just be a friar in class and associate not with girls? yea scold me now. wun you. and you dunno my reasons.
"plak!";
x 8:29 pm
many things
as i was gobbling up that sinful bowl of chendol, i thought..hmmm...i'm like a bowl of chendol.....nice but full of fats...hahaa...LAMEEEEEEEEEE...
yesterday was be yourself day cum last day of school. we supported liang pei outside general studio for her dance and caryn at the kbox session..whole class was there, somewhat, even mrs toh. not bad lah..after her performance, a bunch of us congregated at the study tables just outside the dance studio where the kbox was taking place, to? finish econs drq. so spastic. everyone in his or her nice clothes, sashaying here and there, down the corridor, and we were frantically trying to finish our homework. we sort of became an attraction naturally..
so our theme was officewear. guess my classmates were horrified when i turned up in school in my jaguar house tee, reebok shorts, and overland slippers..hahaha....gave them a shock..cos i was the one who started that idea and now i came in this. actually, i had my clothes inside my bag la..haha....just that my shoes were with wee liang, so i couldn't turn up in school with long-sleeved shirt and black pants and slipppers..i wore a yellow tie.....which is in fact my edward becheras choir tie... everyone was saying it was very nice.....i know u all were eyeing my tie la....too bad i just wouldn't give it to u all..haha....too nice already. then while everyone finished his or her geog punishment essay already ,i had just started mine when the mini-concert started. with continuous support from liang pei, i finally finished it..it was damn slack. 25 marks, 2 sides, somewhat big handwriting, quite some spaces here and there..it wouldn't have justified the marks i got for my test. but well, time constraints..oh ya...then i did that online geog assessment on atmospheric changes and climatic variations(i don't even know if these are the exact words)..spent 2.5 hours on those 20 mcq questions. but why? cos i didn't read anything for the entire chapter(=what we have been doing more than half this term), preferring to use the lectures to do my homework for other subjects..and even after that didn't bother to catch up at all. so i had to read everything all at once..in order to do that 20 miserable questions which, btw were quite hard. common sense couldn't be used here; it was a different set of terms altogether. in school i heard justin copied and pasted the questions to word, and then researched all the questions. hello? it's justin leh. unbelievable right. anyway i learnt it from him. i did the same too..and yea i got 18/20. had i spent the whole term reading the notes, i may have taken 1 hour to do them only. so next term i will not be dumb.
right after be yourself day we took lots of photos.. mr trevor, ms ng, mr hong, forgot who else already...yea at least it was fun taking pics in our exaggerated formal wear..rather than the rest who looked as though they were just going to town, something i find that is not very special and memorable at all. but we learnt our lesson. many ppl laughed at the guys, cos we were all sweating like jian qi(= like a rapist=like a pig..internal joke). after that we were at yck mrt station ,when we saw this attractive teenager(a girl). she was with her classmates..and well, to our horror we found out that that particular pretty-looking girl was their pd tutor :x she really looked so different in her teenager outfit. then we went to the gv next to northpoint to catch star wars. something our class boys have always wanted to, but have been unable to do. i guess many ppl have watched it already,so i shall keep mum.
when i returned home, my sis had already went for her school camp. then in the night i was doing that geog assessment la. then she suddenly messaged me, to tell my mum she's alright. but in a later message she was cursing, cos things happened. so i asked what, ghosts? she said 2 people were possessed already. (in case u think i'm mad, u should stop reading then.) it was not the first time something like that happened anyway, so i guess she wasn't shocked for long. every time there was a camp, there would be paranormal encounters. i admire my sis, she's very brave. only the weak will get these things inflicted on them, for their will and immunity are the lowest. well, my reply to my sis was something like , know there's no god, but u have to stay strong and depend on yourself. take care. so i hope she is okay. she should be, since she is quite a lion(as in she has the courage). then i remembered ms sim on her last lesson telling us of how a teacher shouted across the auditorium to stop a poltergeist from throwing tables and chairs. and promptly, it stopped. delta camp. we'll see how it goes.
holidays are here, enjoy them(they dun last long actually), so make practical use of ur time as ur teachers will constantly repeat like a cassette tape on infinite loop. time shouldn't be squandered on playing computer games(if you're an addict. that would be such a silly thing to do. well, now that u have read my advice, i shall stop here, and yay back to rise of nations!been years(months, rather) since i last played!
"plak!";
x 1:28 pm
delta camp
it's held every year as a workshop for all class leaders. this year, it has been modified to a camp. we're the pioneer batch, haha see how it goes. shouldn't be too tough, though i think we're gonna have some similar activities as the AB camp ppl, who will be the future cca excos. i remember how my pants burst(as in button) during the briefing, and definitely very awkward and well, funny. no one had safety pins, but i picked up a bunch of them which i had just seen on the toilet floor previously. weird. never mind. i'm excited..since it's been 2 or 3 years since my last school-based camp..awww....lemme post the stuff i have to bring in case i lose the sheet...
1. 3 school-based t-shirts.
2. 1 white shirt for night walk(to lower pierce yayyy)
3. 2 home-based shirts
4. 3 school-based shorts
5. 1 home-based shorts
6. track pants
7. usual toiletries( soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, toilet roll etc)
8. 1 bathing towel
9. 1 face towel
10. 1 water bottle
11. 1 mug, plate, fork and spoon
12. 1 pair of slippers
13. 1 pair of sports shoes
14. 3 pairs of socks
15. underwear
16. sleeping bag with cushion if u need it. <====omg gay
17. writing materials(pens and paper)
18. 1 old rag
19. insect repellent for personal use
20. 1 medium to large-sized torchlight with new batteries
21. ez link card of minimum $5
22. college tie
aj's organisation is really bad, trust me. anyway i had to modify some contents in the checklist; some of them were too dumb (sleeping bag with cushion?). my sister and i are getting a new puma bag we both like for camps in future. most probably i'll be going to suntec to buy it with her..oh my group for the camp is epsilon..i didn't get much time to look at my groupmates that day as i was preoccupied with my pants..i think only 1 girl from there is also in arts..the rest are in science, and i think i will have problems communicating with science ppl with the exception of pcme ppl, the real playful lot. but well, i'm not gonna let that bother me. chee yao and i are going to enjoy the camp. i'll make bel regret she was pulled out of it by her choir teacher. yay night walk to lower pierce. ahahaha..they didn't mention what after that. so that may mean a trip to lower pierce. that's it. no return trip arrrr? of course not..er i don't know actually. if all goes well, we'll be the ones conducting next year's delta camp. and it will not be just 3 days 2 nights, it would be 5 days 4 nights, then subsequently the whole week possibly. ah well camp starts on the 1st of June, a Wednesday, and ends on 3rd, Friday. no one knows much about the camp..we'll just leave it status quo.
Friday-gonna be Be Yourself Day. class took on my idea of officewear. yea why not. smart and sleek(wun be so for me but who cares) looking eh.. i've this feeling that other classes will take punk and 'streetwear' kind of themes, but well only 5 classes for a theme maximum. someone will be sabo-ed to take part in the best-dressed competition, haha..good luck to that classmate..at least i know it wun be me..after that makeup civics(sounds more like a punishment) after everyone is dismissed...oh well so anti-climactic, but after that the guys are gonna watch star wars finally..after so much talk..there better be seats. i know it may be hard cos it's the last day of school and ppl have been waiting for this day to watch it, just like my classmates. okie that was an analysis, actually i don't care if there are seats or not. haha..
such a sad thing that our beloved history tutor for half a year, mr trevor is going to sembawang sec, ms sim our maternal gp tutor retiring, mr yap our geog tutor relegating to moe..what crap..i'm gonna miss them..their lessons..the fun we had..but never shed a tear boy.
"plak!";
x 12:52 am
rhapsody II
cool, i didn't know that the co/band combined concert was called rhapsody 2 until i got there..u could say i didn't prepare myself mentally. i didn't know this concert could be so boring..maybe it's my fault that i went to rj's band concert about a month ago, and they performed vesuvius and pirates of the caribbean too..and theirs so totally pwned aj's rendition of these 2 pieces..u could say underperformed. definitely not impressive..oh no i'm so harsh on my collegemates..horrible me...eughh....but maybe it was the conductor's fault, i mean u can't expect every band to play in the same style and measure and whatever. hehe..but well.. their sectionals and practices can be said to be quite slack..well i know cos i joined them once, not really, but i was chatting with jesper for 1 whole hour during 1 of the band practices.. and the rest were just playing together in small quartet kinda groups whenever they felt like it. if not, they were just talking amongst themselves. but of course it cannot be said to be the same for others.
then the co part.. i thought they were much more majestic than band. their conductor..well need i say more? fit for a pantene commercial, and u could see that he cut his hair before. i didn't get the performance booklet, so i didn't really know what they played..well i think all their pieces were up to standard. the er hu solo piece was nice, but jian qi said he(fu kang the soloist)couldn't fully convey the meanings there, though he memorised the score and i think he played pretty well. hmmm.. it was the first time i saw wee liang playing in co, though he goes for practice after school almost every other day. everyone thinks wee liang will never be serious, but fact is he will be serious but only for co. (just like i used to be for choir?) his instrument suits him..liu qin is it? i dunno but it perfectly fits his small frame. i was staring at his leather shoes..so nice..cos it's mine! lol..i can expect to lend him my shoes for every concert already..haha..but it's okay, since he looks good in it. ahah.. didn't think it helped that i went to the concert in some small 60's ah beng outfit..but yea that is the limit i will go for RETRO. omg had the be yourself day theme, retro been approved i will have slit myself at the neck.. the boys will be gay..
i gave wee liang flowers! very nice one. a bouquet of white chrysanthemums.
"plak!";
x 11:54 am
2 days
well er..i slept at 6 yesterday, and woke up at 10. damn. i thought i would sleep 12 hours. but HELL NO. i was awoken by my mum. indirectly, that is. what i had thought i knew was just the tip of the iceberg. being roused from my slumber by her shrill chattering, i thought it worthy to proceed on my work. it was just like me passing standing board jump. i-m-p-o-s-s-i-b-l-e. i had to sleep at 12.
below is the version, as related by my sis on my blog,but she made it private. somewhat, her feelings correspond to mine. but she's more overt about it. i try to cover them up, and i don't usually get as fired up as my sis. but when i do, different story. u guys don't know about this of course, but I'M GOING THROUGH A ROUGH PATCH NOW. if i ever appear irrational, hope u can understand. i wun become irrational if u all do not step on my toes, swear.
19 May 2005 18:43 PM i hope all these comes to an end . ASAP .congrats if ure readin tis . :)was tryna slp yest nite .but my mom scolded my dad for no apparent reason .UNREASONABLE .of coz my dad maintained his temper . she keeps sayin wad vixen la .hu li jing i mean ..KNS .pls lor . hez juz so innocent . din do anytn rite .said wad gou ying also . ermz . seduce . grrr .not only my dad lor , ive had enuf of her too .my bro also lor . shez juz so . ermz . wad to describe .beyond words la !beyond cure . all she does is rattle n rattle . day in day out .i cant stand it .datz y i`d rather not talk when at hm .once i talk , datz it . blabber all e way .she`ll juz come up wid all sorts of ridiculous stuffs .she went into e rm n came out to continue . DOTZ LOR .all she does is holla .think her voice loud big deal ah huh ?no lor . any1 can project their voice .i kinda slpt alr . n got woke up suddenly . by their huge range of voices . goin to b 11 i think .i was v tired ok !juz felt lik going rite in frt of her , n slap her str8 in her face .anw , early in e morn .i dun wanna tok de lor .but dad juz kept comin into my rm .den i tot hez in a gd mood la . gr8 .when he was bout to leave ,my mom came out of e rm noe ,n started sayin stupid stuffs again .i was so PIST lor . dad juz went out without sayin anytn .wo zhen de shou gou le .tis aint e first tym .if i leave e hse 1 day ,itz only right for me to do so .itz not a conducive envi. for studyin . bullshit la i noe .but i juz hate e sight of em quarrelin hao bu hao .cant she understand how we feel ????NEVER . SELFISH . ARGH .shez juz so irritatin !eat abit ltr also muz nag .keep callin n callin .minmin ~~~~~~ minmin ~~~~~think im deaf ???i hate her voice . dun say im unfilial lor . itz nvr our fault . itz always our parents' fault .for creating us . abort me la !i wouldnt exist . u can juz simply get a divorce ,if u wan it so much .keep blamin my bro n i .coz of us , she struggled on wid her marriage .OH PLZ .i din force u to carry on .hate dad so much ,y marry him ? huh ?divorce la . i wun care much .we dun seem lik a family anm .i juz wan to get over wid tis .how i wish i could get away frm tis life !
but i guess i was still normal. didn't let it show.
my sister's solution would be to run away. mine was more straightforward. jump down for them to see. even now, this act of insanity is constantly being perpetuated in my case of emotional upheavals. but still, i'm one of the few who still say life is beautiful. maybe i am cheating myself, but whenever people say life sucks, it reminds me of my plight. so i cannot stand people repeating 'life sucks' monotonously, perpetually. sooner or later, my head will just burst. combined with all the stress i'm having, but am denying now. i guess i rock as a class rep. i'm so stressed, but i conceal it so well. how well a bluff i can make to myself. but to others can i?
back to the bitchy and himbotic style you all are accustomed to.
mr hong returned the maths test papers today! as usual(=since sec1), i shook my head, and i didn't even need to prepare myself mentally for the horrendous aftermath that was to come. it was maths,after all. failing A maths with f9 for 2 prelims..you could say that made me what i am. indifferent. but a miracle came through today i guess. i passed the test. which was so hard. everyone said(save those scholars who ought to stop posting racist comments and who need to be deported back i tell ya') that the test was tough la. even mr hong said so. that's why i'm especially happy to have passed. and i got second in class?hahahahahaha....i don't even dare dream these kind of dreams, ambitious i occasionally may be. and how much did i get?
15.5/30.
"plak!";
x 8:23 pm
the wasted perennial. or was i wrong.
i woke up today, and realised all that happened yesterday was over.
transiting to my next class, a flower lay with its stalk flat on the floor. but still rooted to the soil. i walked over, and kicked the flower off the stalk effortlessly.its life was ended. i didn't know why i did it. was it because i had to? apply this issue to the issues of today. say , euthanasia. the flower would have died soon anyway, all i did was to end its pain and itself while it was being shamed. in the least of its glory and beauty. or would it have been better to see it die slowly, wilting petal by petal. or would someone else have done what i did, had i not done it? and would he be scorned for such an act? life's many questions, in a simple incident.
"plak!";
x 6:54 pm
a most unfortunate conversation in ajc, my beloved school.
this is an extract of what happened to a particular classmate of mine. he was elected as a councillor(elect) recently, and in finding out the true meaning of a councillor and coupled with a few other personal reasons, he found that he had to quit it. and the teacher-in-charge had to speak to him about this....
"Teacher: Ms Ng thinks very highly of you and that is why she referred me to you. I also think very highly of you too. I was the one who interviewed you during the interviews and i ranked you very highly among the elects.
student: sorry sir. But i believe that my abilities are limited sir. I do not think i have what it takes to continue to be a councillor.
Teacher: I do not doubt your abilities. and you should not doubt your ability as well. If you are one of those people who i think that are not up for it, i would not be wasting so much time talking to you now. Like Charles and Thaddius ( they quit ), when they resigned, i did not say anything. I just accepted it. I think that you are just trying to find the easy way out.
student: I am sorry sir.
Teacher: i don't think that your reasons are valid enough. I am very disappointed in you.
student: i am sorry sir
Teacher:you will go for the elects camp tomorrow
student: Sir, i do not think that i will go for the camp sir. I really do not wish to stay in the council sir.
Teacher: you are saying that you are not even giving me a chance to clear some of your misconceptions about council?
student: sir, i believe that ms ng has cleared up the misconception when she talked to me yesterday. But after careful thinking and consideration, i am still decided to leave council. It is not an easy decision sir. It is not a rash decision.
Teacher: now you are a elect and it is not that easy for you to quit. The people voted for you and the teachers have high expectations of you. I really doubt your ability of you to become the leader of the country in the future. What has happened to the young generation nowadays?
student: sir, i am really sorry sir. but if i stay in the council and continue to be unhappy about it, i do not think i will be able to contribute my 100% to the council.
Teacher: If you were in my shoes, how would you feel?
student: i will feel very angry and disappointed sir. I am really sorry, sincerely sorry sir. serious.
Teacher: so you are bent on leaving the council?
student: yes sir
Teacher: then, you WILL write a letter to me telling me of your reasons to quit councl and APOLOGISE in the letter. Your letter will be displayed on the council notice board for all to see. If i am unhappy with your letter, you will write again and again until i am happy with it. Do you get it straight?
student: speechless... looking into his eyes.
Teacher: from this second onwards you HAVE NOTHING with the council. you hear me? I look down on you from now on and I don't care if i tell other teachers about you. You will not take part in any council organised activities in the future, you hear me? I don't welcome you to take photos there. If i find out that you are in any position for the PS(photographic society), i will give my feedback to the teacher in charge to question the choice.
And he storms away."
my friend, is but a student. the teacher is but a teacher. nothing more. some people never know when to quit. where has the concept of liberty gone to? has it, as the intellectuals say, never been existent here? no one is ever qualified to judge another, not even a teacher. i've never heard of teachers humiliating students. ooh, now this is a first. this incident offers a glimpse of what actually goes through behind the scenes of the student council?
i implore u readers to speak out for justice. i am just but a lowly class rep, but if need be, i will get myself involved in this. By committing this immature and rash act, the nobility of the education officers has been compromised. and thus i have found myself to have been disillusioned with my ambition too.
we are just but young adults. who is he, or even anyone,be it friends or family, to cause grievous emotional hurt. just like physical wounds, they leave scars. and we know scars are for life.
"plak!";
x 10:32 pm
simple reflections
k sorry everyone i'm so guilty of not updating..er..though i'm basically online on a quotidian basis..i dun think i'll bore anyone to death here..i'll talk about something simple..which is..the people i dun sit with for any tutorials at all.
the boys are terence, jian qi, chee yao, qing yi, chee wei,justin, and the girls are regina, denise, humairah,yun hui,caryn,hie bee and si yi.
which means i dun sit with 6 of the boys at all (total is 11 including me), and i dun sit with 7 of the 11 girls. which is astonishing. while everyone else gets a more healthier mix of the classmates to sit with..as in more balanced, not as in 'undesirable'..so i have to pity my group members for having to tolerate my nonsense for at least the next half of the year.
let's see who i sit with for :
Econs:
Adel
Bel
Liang Pei
Shawn
Wee Liang
a certain egomaniac called herrick
Geography:
Charlene
Bel
Renny
Hou Teng
Liang Pei
herrick, a certain lamer
History:
Adel
Bel
Shawn
herrick the history A student
Maths:
Adel
Charlene
Shawn
herrick, some tard who doesn't know the meaning of 'sitting with'
General Paper:
Hou Teng
Liang Pei
some intellectual by the name of... =P (i'm kiddin' only)
and this isn't tutorial, but Project Work:
Caryn
Liang Pei
Si Yi
Shawn
Memememememmemememememe
haha...the top companion is Shawn the girl wannabe who has a frequency of 4,which coincidentally ties with that of Liang Pei the pink,
Adel the Swollen, who has a frequency of 3, who at the same time ties with christabel aka bel..
something that seems insignificant, but definitely something worth thinking about, for they determine the amount of contact and rapport you would be in and building with your class as a whole.
today i also went to the skin centre for my trimonthly check up(for my pimples, what are you thinking eh). the last two times, i got this indian consultant doctor as in indian national. i couldn't understand most of his speech. just when i was about to resign to fate again, yay! my doctor was to be a certain timothy johnny rutherford. yay finally someone i can understand!
and i was wrong. when i went in, he just blabbered one whole string of words which i could not comprehend. but after that i could understand already. phew. he's so handsome, especially with his specs..he was joking as much as i was, and we were both amused. haha..hope to get him the next time.
i'll stop here i guess, and i hope (or do you?) that i'll be initiated enough to update soon after.happy new year hohoho..
"plak!";
x 4:45 pm
